Before The Match Starts

Hello Football Fans!

Tomorrow is the start of the Championship season, so here is a few things you will need to enjoy the season.

(If you have season tickets this article is not for you. If I had the jaw-bone of an ass and found you, lets just say things would end badly. As for the rest of us read on.)

First of course make sure you have access to the television without which you will have a very hard time following the beautiful game. If you are a technical whiz you may be able to get your Apple or PC to show the games.

I don't do this at home because of the aforementioned tele but I use the PC at that place that must not be named. The place most of us go so we can afford the tele and the auto and iphone and all those other gizmos we can't do without.

Now I wonder if Setanta will be on the air in the U.S. or if I will have to call my cable service to find football games on some other channel. There is always FSC and I heard rumors that ESPN would have a soccer channel after Setanta failed to come up with some serious cash.

You will need a sofa or other comfortable place to sit while you are watching the tele. Remember you ticket holding sods we're supposed to be off by now. The sofa or chair does not matter as much as its location just so you can cheer and scream like a proper fanatic.

My chair and tele are on a different floor of the house were I can lock the door, this way I can scream louder without scaring the family. Yes eventually they will be scared as  Drogba misses an empty net or Gomez drops the softest shot behind him. Just part of being a fan do not worry.

The last thing you need is your cell-phone. True fans are constantly being messaged by their favorite team. If you don't know what Sir Alex said yesterday you are not a true Man U fan mate.

You can with your phone follow the entire EPL league without interrupting your game you are watching. Don't forget to record/tape the other game on the other network and watch it later. Or maybe your favorite football station will replay that game for you so no need to tape/record.

The last thing to mention is really the first thing you need to do.

Make sure you have done all those things your wife/spouse/girlfriend or even ex-wife/cousin (if things are really bad) asked you to do before the game starts Saturday Morning.

Nothing is worse than having your match of the week interrupted because you forgot to do your chores. Make sure that you make it clear that you are not to be interrupted until the match is over. That includes medical help—If she breaks her legs and it's hanging in an awkward angle tell her to suck it up or call her mother!

Well there it is gents I hope my list was helpful and that this will help you have a wonderful season. I hope my team is half as prepared as I am or it will be a very long, very sad season.

That's really funny because I follow West Ham and they always have a new a creative way of making a season too interesting.