Angry Falcons Fan Delivers All-Time Postgame Rant After Loss to Panthers

Reeling from a 34-3 pasting at the hands of the Carolina Panthers, a large cross section of the Atlanta Falcons fanbase exited the Georgia Dome on Sunday night distraught and looking for answers.

One particularly wounded fan stopped for a man-on-the-street interview with Atlanta's Rock 100.5 morning show. What followed was a searing indictment of the franchise and—perhaps most moving—a prideful defense of Hotlanta's founding virtues.

Warning: Video contains NSFW language.

Like all great rhetoricians, the fan began by explaining the premise of his grievance. He then outlined a complete spring cleaning recovery plan for Falcons owner Arthur Blank.

The reporter asked the fan to elaborate on his plan, which included getting rid of head coach Mike Smith.

"Who do we need to keep for next year?"

"S--t, nobody!" the fan answered.

The fan built on this with a stirring appeal to the proud heart of the Falcons front office, reminding him that Atlanta is the home of fine gentlemen's clubs, not an NFC doormat:

"

Look at me, Arthur. Look at me, man to man. Eye to eye, man. Listen to me. This is A-town, baby. Home of Freaknik, home of strip clubs. All that, man. ... If you don't get g-----n rid of Mike Smith—and you gotta do something with...Matt Ryan, man—but first, start with...Mike Smith. You got to get him out of here, man. That man done had five chances.

"

Finally, the fan said he wouldn't be afraid to whip up the masses if change doesn't come to the Dirty Birds.

"If you don't get it together, man, I'm gonna call that mob on you," the fan said. "I know a mob."

It isn't far-fetched to say that, along with the Angry Knicks Fan (NFSW), Angry Falcons Fan and his speech will go down as one of the finer moments of early 21st-century American rhetoric.

He builds his argument with all the pillars of an enduring speech: conviction, repetition, appeals to the heart and memorable turns of phrase. Even if you care not for his tribulations, you will never forget what Atlanta is about.

@Dr_Carson_

Rest easy, Angry Falcons Fan. Your call was heard. It could not be ignored.

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