'Roberto' Gronkowski Uses His Legendary Command of Spanish to Say Happy Holidays

Far too long have we, the citizens of the world, languished without a Spanish dispatch from our favorite non-Spanish correspondent, “Roberto Gronkowski.”

We have waited years for a sequel to “Yo soy fiesta,” and our patience paid off this week when Gronkowski broke out his most ham-fisted Spanish while wishing good little boys and girls around the globe a very happy holiday season. Or something like that.

Gronkowski was just one of New England Patriots who went on film to offer season’s greetings for a team video. Fortunately, For The Win’s Nate Scott pared away the fluff (which is to say, all other players) and uploaded video of the only testimony that matters: Gronk’s.

This is Gronk’s message, transcribed here incorrectly but phonetically.

"

Hola, sue soy amigo Roberto Gronkowski. A-sparrow kay tangin’ una bonita fiesta day Navidah. DJ Tiesto? E-kay esta proximo an-yo dos milk-kin say lace terraga muchos felly-see-dod-is. Pesos y a brazos para toad-O’s.

"

What he’s trying to say, I believe, is something along the lines of “Merry Christmas, happy holidays and peace and goodwill to all.”

I do not know what DJ Tiesto has to do with it, but I hope he had a great holiday, too.

Feliz Navidad, Roberto! 

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