What Would Jason Do? NHL Edition

Well, to date, these have been my favorite articles out of the ones I have written.  This is the third in the entry of five, and between the first two, there were 20, yup, t-w-e-n-t-y reads at last count.  Part of me wants to say "oh well" and give up on it, but I wasn't raised to be a quitter, so here goes.

Part three of five: NHL Commish

Here's a question:  Name the commissioner of the NHL.

Chances are, you can't.  Because so few care, and as such, so few watch.  So therein lies the following statement.

If I were the commissioner of the NHL, I would sell...myself.

I mean that quite literally, and I wouldn't stop at that.  I would sell every player that I could.  I would be making phone calls two at a time with both hands.

Line one—Old Spice.

Line two—Martin Brodeur.

See, I've seen the video of a "young Urlacher" crying before he used Old Spice's swagger.

Heck, even Tony Stewart has a commercial.

So, where's Brodeur's "I was afraid of low velocity objects before I used swagger" commercial? (He's a goaltender, for the uninitiated.)

I'm just saying, maybe Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin arm wrestle over a product.  Something die-hard fans of hockey will find hilarious, as well as something that will gain interest from outsiders.

Were I the commish, hell, I'd even pay for the commercial.

I'd go out to Best Buy, Walmart, Target, anywhere high definition televisions were sold, and I'd say, "What would it cost me to ensure hockey played in 1080 on these TVs 24/7?"

Because honestly, no sport is more improved in HD.

And lastly, Where's the NHL Cares commercial?  Where's the partnership with the United Way?

See, what I believe is lacking in the NHL...

...behind the masks...

...behind the missing teeth...

...behind the icing penalties, the fighting, the taped-up sticks, the rivalries, the goal, and the puck...

...is a true human component.

A sign of what these men really can be to their communities.

Through camps for kids hosted by stars.

Through building ice rinks in neglected neighborhoods.

Do these things, and your sport will flourish.