Buffalo Bills: An In-Depth Review By 2nd And Wrong

Sorry for the delays again folks. No more hookers for me.

BUFFALO BILLS

By: Benjamin Martin

I’ve been looking forward to this one. We all have a favourite team in the NFL (and if you don’t, you aren’t doing anybody any good, so get with it or get out of here). And in most cases, we could rank our favourite teams from first to 32^nd. Or in my case you could rank your top three favourite teams, and then a bunch that you don’t care about that much and then a couple that you despise. Buffalo falls into my favourites. The Bengals are number one, the 49ers are number two and the Bills fall in at number three. I know what you’re thinking: glutton for punishment. Yes, I am indeed a dirty girl.

Everyone likes to see a team that has always been at the bottom of the heap and has started a rise to the top (the Bengals are on their way, trust me). And it started when the Bills drafted Trent Edwards. I enjoyed Trent and thought he was one of the best QBs in his draft class. Then the Bills got their hands on Lynch, and I drafted him on my fantasy team and things just went from there. Buffalo took me on a couple romantic dinners and told me it loved me, and I fell in love with Buffalo.

However, Buffalo is just like my performance in the weight room lately: regression. They were doing so well, and then they just shit the bed and it’s like “what the fuck happened” you know? Dude Where’s My Car style.

But before we get to the soiled bed sheets, let’s take a step back.

This team is in a tough division right now. The Patriots pretty much win the division every  year through a combination of cheating and preying on the fact that everyone else in the division sucks. And Buffalo has always sucked, so it’s tough to work your way back from that. I’m a Bengals fan, so when I say that, it’s gospel.

They were doing good though. Doing great. They had a bit of a disappointing year this past season. Started off great at 4-1 before their week 6 bye, but then things went to shit. But it happens. Trent became inconsistent, but that’s expected out of a quarterback in his first full year as the unquestioned starter. The sky is the limit. Plus he’s TOTALLY handsome, so fuck football, the boy is set.

The offense started clicking, despite not having any established receivers. Okay that was kind of mean, Lee Evans is good. That is all. I'm still waiting for James Hardy to show up too. The boy's got the skills. Played basketball for the Hoosiers too. Awesome size at 6'5", big bodied reaching nearly 220lbs. He's got the tools, if he can put it together he can be dominant, at least in the red zone. Their o-line showed up. All good. I will admit now that I don’t have much of a propensity for the defense, and not just Buffalo’s. I guess I’m more naturally inclined to offense since I just understand it better. I understand what’s happening on defense and I love playing it more than playing offense, but I just never remember names of defensive players. I just see it as more of one all-encompassing unit.

From what I can gather though, the defense looks good. Oh wait, nevermind. Upon further review it looks DAMN good.  But lots of things look good on paper. Like my criminal record. But that’s just because they haven’t found any of the hookers I killed yet.

The front seven is impressive. Aaron Schobel dealt with an injury last season and only played 5 games. Marcus Stroud was a terrific addition last season to solidify the middle, and the Bills have a great linebacking corps featuring Kawika Mitchell and the attractive Paul Posluszny. Losing Angelo Crowell will be a big hit for them, but that’s just the way she goes sometimes. Unfortunately, with the division they’re in, the smallest hits will have reverberating repercussions for this team.

The secondary looks good too. Terrence McGee and Ashton Youboty are serviceable covermen, and Leodis McKelvin is waiting in the ranks. Donte Whitner has always done his job at safety as well. However, doing your job in this division just won’t cut it, as evidenced by last year. Granted they were a young team, but this year will show if they can do anything, and how much they can do.

Things were looking good for this team. Their receiving corps was lacking, so they signed one of the best receivers in history, and still one of the best in the game today: Terrell Owens. Hate all you want, the boy is the truth. They also went out and drafted Aaron Maybin to help on the line and start filling the shoes of Schobel. In the second round they took Jairus Byrd, an intriguing defensive back from Oregon. Great size at 6’0”, 208lbs. However, not exactly ideal speed with the 4.6 he ran at his pro day. He’s likely a convert to safety, which is seemingly perfect. The size to play the position, good speed for the position and the instincts of a cornerback. Can’t go wrong. Also in the second the Bills took Andy Levitre at guard to provide some more talent and depth to the line.

But things had already fallen apart. Citing, like most divorces, what they probably considered to be irreconcilable differences, the Buffalo Bills traded Jason Peters to the Eagles for their first round pick. Wow. Great season, great offense, just flushed down the toilet. Peters was a top 5 tackle in the game, if not top 3 or even the best. Irreplaceable loss. And they didn’t even attempt to replace him. They drafted Eric Wood, C, with the 28^th overall pick, and will probably convert him to guard to play opposite Levitre. You can’t just get rid of your left tackle and expect to live, especially when he’s franchise-worthy. The Bills are fucked, plain and simple.

Peyton Manning is the best because he gets time to throw. Sure, that big ass head is filled with a big ass brain that’s filled with nothing more than commercial ideas and football. But if you don’t have time to use that knowledge, it’s useless. He gets time, and look what he does with it. He’s the best. Trent Edwards is young and developing. He needs all the time he can get. You can’t just throw 300lbs on the bench press when you can’t even bench 200lbs and expect to eventually be able to lift it just through trying and waiting. You gotta start small and work up. Baby steps, baby! You need that O-line to give your QB time, both to throw and to develop both passing instincts and a pair of iron balls. But apparently I don’t know what I’m talking about.

And the subpar moves just continued from there. Marshawn Lynch and Fred Jackson are a great one-two punch. The signing of Dominic Rhodes is foolish on the part of both parties. Rhodes proved in Oakland that he’s nothing without the Colts’ offense. And Buffalo has two great running backs that complement each other perfectly, so signing Rhodes was pointless. So what if Lynch is suspended for 3 games, that doesn’t justify the other 13. And signing Drayton Florence was a foolish move as well, as he’s proved that he is just consistently mediocre and not worthy of the bigger contracts that get thrown at him. Like he’s a good nickel- or dime-back, but not much more.

All in all, I’d have to say that if the Bills kept Peters, this would have been a terrific, low-key offseason where they got players back they needed and filled some glaring holes. But instead, they let one of their key players, and probably their best player, slip through their fingers. The blame falls on both parties, because the Bills were being stingy and Peters, like most athletes these days, was being unnecessarily greedy. But once again, that’s just the way she goes sometimes. I don’t think Buffalo will have enough to take the division this year. The future remains cloudy because there’s a gigantic gap at left tackle. Who knows though, maybe they go 2-14, get the 1^st pick and pick up a nice LT next year. Then you’ll have to look out.