Jared Lorenzen Wants to Fill in for Cardinals' Drew Stanton

With Drew Stanton injured, it’s time for the Arizona Cardinals to get creative. And what’s more creative than signing a 300-pound quarterback?

Former New York Giants quarterback Jared Lorenzen has already thrown his hat in the ring. The plus-sized signal-caller offered the Cardinals his services Thursday night on Twitter via CBS Sports.

The beefy left-hander was last seen playing ball for the Northern Kentucky River Monsters of the Continental Indoor Football League. In February of 2014, he weighed in at a healthy 320 pounds.

Don’t let Lorenzen’s girth fool you. He won’t win any track meets, but this Vine proves Lorenzen can be quite nimble when he has to be.

Lorenzen admitted he might need a couple weeks to get back into playing shape. If that timetable holds, he should be ready for the playoffs.

Lorenzen's tweet shows boxer and mixed martial artist Eric “Butterbean” Esch, another athlete known for being festively plump.

Given the long layoff and Lorenzen’s pudgy figure, it’s unlikely head coach Bruce Arians will give the idea much consideration. But Lorenzen does bring up an interesting point.

It’s also worth noting that Lorenzen has the same number of NFL touchdown passes as current Cardinals starter Ryan Lindley (both have zero).

Hopefully Lorenzen will get a shot to play for the New England Patriots if it doesn’t work out with Arizona. That way he can star in commercials alongside fellow food enthusiast Vince Wilfork.