Jose Canseco Says Human Beings Will Rule the Galaxy by Traveling Via Comet

Dan Carson@@DrCarson73Trending Lead WriterNovember 13, 2014

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Jose Canseco laid down a line of rock-solid scientific logic Thursday afternoon, waxing poetic about comets and their untapped potential as intergalactic taxi cabs.

Inspired by the Philae spacecraft landing on a speeding comet, Canseco decided to drop some heavy knowledge about this monumental coup for science and what it means for human space travel. 

Canseco begins by explaining how comets will save humanity.

Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco

Comet Transport is the key to our survival .

He points out that using comets isn’t a new thing. Galactic Beings are a solid synth-rock band, and they’ve been using comets for a while now.

Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco

Galactic Beings have used comets as star taxis for eons

They’re basically supercharged space Priuses (Prii?).

Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco

Comets are faster than anything we could ever build and have their own power solving are two problems

Canseco then imagined rich strip-mining and sightseeing economies opening up throughout the galaxy thanks to comets.

Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco

Opens up new business like galaxy touring cruising, asteroid mining, interstellar trade, and planet colonies

We will reign over the TransNebulan Confederation and bend all other beings to our will through space tourism! 

Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco

If Earth can control the comet transport system we will run the Milkyway. Think about that

He’s already stamped his name on the taxi comets of the future. We will all ride "Cansecomets."

Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco

hug for u NASA #cansecomet

Canseco’s tweets add another chapter to his Twitter sagas, which to date have included other thought-provoking discussions on ancient earth gravity and how global warming could’ve saved the Titanic.

Start buying futures in high-speed celestial bodies, everyone. They’re cosmic Ubers without the forced small talk.

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