Shakedown: The Blonde 'Stache (Contestant #3)

Welcome back to the Shakedown.

It’s been a sad, sad week for the Mustached American people. We lost “Mustachiopithicus” this week — better known as Walter Cronkite. You can read a bit about his partnership with the American Mustache Institute on the AMI blog.  But clearly, a hero among us is no more.

On the other side of the coin, we posted our interview with legendary musician, former Mustached American, and jerhi curl connoisseur John Oates of Hall & Oates.  So that didn’t suck.

Regardless, on to this week’s “Monthly Mustache Shakedown” contestant in the “Best Blonde Mustache.”

In week one, we looked at Corey Snyder. Last week, it was the legendary Larry Bird. In week three we go to the links — the overweight, drunken, redneck greens of the PGA Tour where some knucklehead yells out “GET IN THE HOLE!” after every swing of the driver and each putt.

Yes, we’re talking our man John Daly, or as he calls himself on his website, “The Lion” (must say, I’ve never heard anyone else call him that but I don’t watch much golf on TV).

He had a beautifully pert nose duster early in his career that has since been replaced by a lip. But you can’t help but love JD for his continued commitment to the Mustached American lifestyle. Examples of our way of life include:

• Daly claimed on The Howard Stern Show to have done an 806 yard drive on the LA airport runway.
• Daly does not fly to tournament sites (except the British Open), but instead travels in a personal recreational vehicle.
• He recorded an autobiographical album titled My Life, featuring guest performances by Darius Rucker, Willie Nelson, Johnny Lee, and Daron Norwood.
• Daly once claimed that he drank a fifth of Jack Daniel’s every day during the year he was 23 years of age.
• He was  removed from a British Airways airplane by airport security for harassing a flight attendant while drunk.
• In May 1993, he was upset by his opening round at the Kemper Open, threw his scoring card in the scoring tent, walked off, and was disqualified. In late 1993, Daly was given an indefinite suspension for 1994 after quitting in the middle of the Kapalua International.
• In March 2008, Daly’s swing coach Butch Harmon quit, saying that “the most important thing in Daly’s life is getting drunk.”
• In October 2008, Daly was taken into protective custody by Winston-Salem police after he was found drunk outside an area Hooters restaurant.
• Due to his various drinking escapades, the alcoholic drink consisting of sweet tea-flavored vodka and lemonade (also called a Dirty Arnold Palmer) is often referred to as a John Daly.
• He claims to have lost between US$50 and $60 million over the past 15 years gambling.
• In July 1994, Daly claimed that many PGA golfers were cocaine users, and said that if drug testing was done on tour, he would be “one of the cleanest guys out there.”

What does this add up to? All man….all Mustached American man.

So here’s to John Daly, our third offering in The Shakedown’s “Best Blond Mustache” contest. As always, we of course now ask for your suggestions on our final candidate, as JSF is only as good as the quality of your semi-worthless suggestions.

Carry on.

Week One - Cory Snyder

Week Two - Larry Bird

Week Three - John Daly

Week Four - July 30

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