WWE RAW Rewind: ZZ Has the Tush, But Triple H & Cena Have the Stroke

RAW goes live at NC State University with the crowd abuzz of the awaiting of tonight’s guest host. Instead, the show opens up with the arrival of the other co-#1 Contender for the WWE Championship at this Sunday’s Night of Champions, John Cena.

Cena takes a moment to soak in the admiration from the Wolfpack crowd before focusing on tonight’s guest hosts and this Sunday’s Night of Champions.

He then focuses his attention on the main event of this Sunday’s Night of Champions, but he is quickly interrupted by the WWE Champion, Randy Orton. The Legend Killer stalks to the ring to give his thoughts on the main event…and trip down memory lane with Cena.

Orton doesn’t hesitate to remind Cena that he kicked Triple H in the skull and pinned him to be victorious at that WrestleMania two years ago. He then promises that history will repeat himself.

But Cena cuts him off to focus back on the Guest Hosts. But before he focuses on the music, he thinks that maybe he should get an early start on this Sunday…tonight. With that, both men prepare to slug it out…at least that’s until Orton once again gets cold feet and walks out of the ring.

But Orton then tells him to rethink that, and with that, Legacy hits the ring. But Cena doesn’t back down from the challenge…he instead welcomes it…as well as a surprise backup in the form of Triple H.

Legacy again takes the coward road as they walk away from the three on one mugging they were trying to have. But Triple H has something to say: He doesn’t care if either he or Cena wins the championship this Sunday…just as long as Orton doesn’t.

Orton then decides to change the main event to include himself. But Cena shows his smarts, as well as Triple H, when they go back and forth about whether to accept the challenge.

But after the comedy ends, both men utter the two words Orton wasn’t expecting at the same time: WE ACCEPT!

With that, ZZ Top takes center stage to prepare for a little concert, when they’re interrupted by the Italian Stallion, Santino Marella. Billy Gibbons gives Dusty the signal to give Santino a special present: An honorary member of ZZ Top tonight!

Following a quick rewind of last Monday’s match between Big Show and Evan Bourne, the United States Champion makes his way to the ring.

We also learn that it will be Jack Swagger, Carlito, The Miz, Big Show, MVP & Kofi Kingston in a Six Pack Challenge for the US Championship at Night of Champions.

 

Kofi Kingston, Primo, & MVP vs. Jack Swagger, Carlito & Big Show

Swagger and Kingston get the physicality started with Swagger using that Amateur Wrestling background to his advantage. But Kingston counters out of it with a roll up before tagging in MVP.

MVP comes in and delivers a flapjack followed by the Ballin’ Elbow Drop. Swagger then rolls out of the ring and joins Carlito on the ground as Show berates them.

Back on the program, Kofi is in some serious trouble with Jack Swagger before Carlito comes in and continues the punishment. But Show make his way in and decimates the United States Champion.

After Show keeps the high flyer grounded, Carlito comes in to continue the pressure with a standing dropkick. Thanks to a distraction from Carlito, Kofi is able to tag in Primo. Primo takes the fight straight to his brother with a set of dropkicks followed by a leg drop.

Swagger manages to break up the pinfall, but MVP is able to take down the All American Jackass. But Big Show spears Carlito instead, Kofi uses the head scissors to eliminate Big Show and Primo delivers a flying head butt to get the win.

But after the bell, Show comes in and delivers 1) spear to Primo, 2) Chokeslams to MVP and Swagger and 3) The Knockout Punch to Kingston. As bodies lay in the ring, Show smiles at the carnage he left in the ring.

In the back, ZZ Top and Santino are talking about the Summer Tour with Aerosmith before Chris Jericho comes in to interrupt and decides to do a Jam Session with the duo.

But ZZ instead surprises Jericho by telling him that he’ll have a match…with Mark Henry. As Jericho asks “How?” ZZ busts out with a little La Grange to send the Ayatollah of Complete Bore-Dah out of the office.

Back on the program, The Brian Kendrick is trying to tell Cole and King to sell him up to be Jericho’s new partner at Night of Champions.

After attempting to berate him, and walking like a peacock on crack, Kendrick prepares for his opponent…which is shockingly enough, Jerry “The King” Lawler.

 

The Brian Kendrick vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler

After getting taunted, Lawler slaps the taste out of Kendrick’s mouth. Kendrick then takes the fight to the WWE Hall of Famer. But Lawler starts fighting back with jabs to the skull…even a dropkick!

Kendrick recovers enough to get dropped on his face as Lawler delivers the Royal Crown to pick up the upset win over Kendrick.

As Mickie James is getting interviewed by Todd Grisham, The Miz comes over and tries to sell up the Divas Champion…in other words, he spends the entire time kissing Maryse’s ass just so he can get a piece of it.

As Mickie shoots off at Miz, Maryse comes in and sprays hair spray directly into the eyes of her NOC opponent.

Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry

After sprinting out of the ring to avoid the fight, Jericho gets dropped with a scoop slam from Mark Henry. But he manages to get some breathing room after taking Henry out at the knees.

Henry bounces back with a huge clothesline and the Big Swing. But as Henry goes for the World’s Strongest Slam, Jericho hits the faceplant.

In all his infinite wisdom, Jericho decides to go for the Walls of Jericho, only to have Henry launch him out of the ring. But Jericho jabs Henry with a steel chair to force the DQ.

But after the bell, Henry unleashes his fury by countering the Codebreaker into the World’s Strongest Slam.

Back in Dusty and Billy’s office, Chavo Guerrero comes in and gripes about having to face Hornswoggle week after week. So ZZ Top decides to fix the problem…by having to face Hornswoggle…in a Sharp Dressed Man Match.

Sharp Dressed Man Tuxedo Match

Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero

As the match begins, Chavo is having problems with his tux. Apparently someone sewed Chavo’s pant legs together.

As Chavo struggles with his wardrobe malfunction, Hornswoggle manages to remove Chavo’s shirt, jacket and tie. Chavo bounces back and manages to remove Hornswoggle’s shoes and jacket.

But Hornswoggle uses ingenuity to get control and manages to remove Chavo’s shoes and pants to win the first-ever Sharp Dressed Man Match.

In the back, Cena and Triple H are preparing for the match while they talk about this Sunday’s Night of Champions. Both men make it clear that they intend to bring their all not just tonight, but also this Sunday.

Back on the program, ZZ Top is having fun, but something seems to be missing…that’s when Kelly Kelly makes her way into the office. With that, it becomes a “Legs” Marathon with Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Rosa Mendes…and Santino!?

Santino rips the tear away pants and flaunts his best mankini followed by a chair dance and best air band impression.

Following a quick rundown of this Sunday’s Night of Champions, we are graced with the departure of Chris Jericho. But Legacy decides to poke fun at Jericho’s expense due in large part to Jericho not having a partner.

But Jericho shoots back by letting them know that he has held more championships than either Legacy and their fathers combined. He then makes it clear that even Randy Orton could be his partner.

Back on the program, we just found out that next week’s RAW Guest Host, following the anarchy of Night of Champions, will be none other than Four-Time NBA Champion, Shaquille O’Neal.

ZZ Top Legs Match

Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox & Rosa Mendes

Fox and Kelly get things started with Kelly showing her leg strength with a head scissors takedown. Kelly continues the control with Kim coming in to continue the fight.

But thanks to Rosa Mendes, Alicia is able to deliver a huge dropkick as Kim comes off the top rope. Mendes and Fox exchange tags, but both continue the punishment on Kim.

Fox tries to continue the pressure, but Kelly manages to tag in and fly a helicopter on Fox.

Following the Bump Bump, Kelly delivers a leg drop on the back of the neck. After Kim comes in to take care of Mendes, Fox manages to get the upset roll up victory over Kelly Kelly.

Three on Two Handicap Main Event

Randy Orton and Legacy vs. Triple H and John Cena

Before the main event, ZZ Top comes out to salute the crowd one more time…this time in one of their vintage Eliminator cars. Following a news brief about ZZ Top’s new DVD, out in October, Randy Orton interrupts their fun.

As the bell rings, Cody Rhodes plays his role as “scared little biznitch” well. But Cena is not letting that stop him as he takes the fight to Rhodes. Triple H then comes in and delivers a brain blooded suplex to Rhodes.

DiBiase comes in and tries to get a cheap shot on The Game, but one by one, all three members of Legacy fall to the floor. After Orton is sent packing, Legacy comes in and gets sent packing quickly over the other side.

Back on the program, DiBiase and Cena drop each other with clotheslines, but both men manage to tag in their partners.

Rhodes gets leveled with a Harley Race High Knee from Triple H followed by the Facebuster, but a distraction from Orton allows Legacy to take brief control.

And thanks to Orton’s interference, Legacy has complete control over The Game. Frequent tags allow Legacy to continue their punishment on Triple H, as well as cheap, dirty tactics from the Legend Blowhard.

Orton finally decides to come in after his biznitches handle the dirty work, but it doesn’t take long for him to tag in Rhodes. Rhodes has the advantage with a headlock, and he manages to position himself in between Triple H and John Cena.

The crowd continues to will The Game through this, but Rhodes continues to bore the crowd with technical garbage, before dropping him with a DDT.

Orton comes in and continues the assault before dropping to the ground for his vintage “I’m having a seizure right now. I'll be fine in five seconds” pose before getting dropped with a spine buster from The King of Kings.

Triple H and Orton are both down as Cena stalks the corner trying to get his partner in. Cena comes in and drops Rhodes with the Beantown Spinner followed by the 5-Knuckle Shuffle.

As Cena goes for the Adjustment, Rhodes counters, only to get caught in the STF. Triple H comes in and sends DiBiase packing. Orton comes in and guns for the punt, but Cena dodges the punt and gets the roll up victory over the WWE Champion.

Orton looks on in shock on the outside as Triple H and Cena look on and focus on the WWE Championship. Cena and Triple H shake hands before refocusing on Orton as RAW goes off the air.