Lance Armstrong: Nothing More Than a Corporate Media Scheme

I can’t be the only one who is annoyed with all the Tour de France/Lance Armstrong coverage. After each and every stage, in depth coverage and analysis follows. What position is Lance Armstrong in? What teams are doing well? Who won the stage? Why did a certain rider do well in that stage?

At this point, the riders have completed 9 stages, that means we’ve got 12 more stages to hear about. Great. Aside from all the wannabe Lance Armstrongs in this world (you know these types of people; the assholes in spandex who avoid sidewalks and bike in the middle of the road, which in turn slows down traffic and poses a greater chance for automobile accidents), who the hell cares?

Since when did bicycling become a sport anyways? People ride bicycles to get from point A to point B or to get exercise. As far as I’m concerned, riding a toy competitively does not justify the act of bicycling being labeled a ‘sport,’ but in a world where climbing, chess, ballooning etc. are considered sports, it makes sense that bicycling would fall into this category.

And why is the Tour de France the only bicycling Tour that receives such a great deal of media attention? Because golden boy Lance Armstrong participates in it? I’m no expert on cycling, but going off what I’ve heard from avid cyclists, Armstrong is far from the best. Since when did the Tour de France become the pinnacle of the sport? If Lance Armstrong is as great as the media makes him out to be, he should be dominating every Tour. Tiger Woods doesn’t just win on one specific course, he is dominant on any golf course. Shouldn’t the same go for Lance?

The Tour de France and its excessive coverage is a bunch of corporate media bullshit. Lance Armstrong is not the best cyclist; he is a mega money machine. He happens to have success at the Tour de France, which is why the media is all over it. If his particular skills worked best for him at the Tour de Flanders, would that be the Tour receiving all this attention? Would we be hearing so much about the Tour de France if Lance Armstrong and his personal story did not exist? Not a chance!

Don’t buy into it! Who cares about cycling anyways? I don’t want my ESPN highlights to contain a bunch of dudes biking up a hill or around a bend; I want to see traditional sports! The only circumstance in which bicycling ought to receive media attention should be because of a massive pile up! [Sports news and analysis with humor]