Athletes Having a Better Birthday Than You
There are a lot of different ways to gauge the awesomeness of a given party—in this instance, a birthday party. There’s the location, guest list, food, drinks, decor and, of course, the entertainment. A bouncy castle on the horizon as you approach is always a good sign.
Although given access to just one of those variables, overall awesomeness would be almost impossible to accurately assess. Generally speaking, there is one definitive indicator of the time and thought a party planner has put into the guest experience: The cake.
If you show up to a birthday party and see on the table a cookie cake messily personalized with that nasty gel icing, the odds of making (good) lifelong memories are slim to none. If the cake looks like it deserves its own reality show on TLC, well, then you’re probably going to have a night to remember.
Honestly, there doesn’t even need to be a party involved. A ridiculously over the top cake is enough to elevate a birthday all on its own, even without any trying social engagements to deal with. Athletes have enough people in their lives wanting to please them that a glorious cake is guaranteed.
They, in turn, pay the glorious cake game forward to their own kids on their birthdays. All of whom are almost definitely having a better birthday than you.
Brandon Meriweather
1 of 19Instagram ID: meriweather31
Caption: One of those months. Time to say goodbye to my bday month. Until next year. Thanks to everybody that spent it with me. #3thahardway @vasobain@darealump @chinn4real @powerballnick_305@aj_thompson
Washington Redskins safety Brandon Meriweather’s cake looks like quite a few man hours were put into its creation. And considering his birthday apparently stretches an entire month, it may very well have been the first of many.
Major Wright
2 of 19Instagram ID: lilmade21
Caption: Great Birthday dinner and gift from @2_good2btrue and @talkmetodeath luv
Tampa Bay Buccaneers safety Major Wright looks adorably pleased about his 25th birthday cake. It’s not exactly outside the box, but is appealing in its simplicity.
LeBron James
3 of 19Instagram ID: kingjames
Caption: Bronny Dope Xbox cake with that 2K14 #SwagCake #CakeCakeCake
There's no doubt Cleveland Cavaliers superstar LeBron James gets plenty of love on his birthday, but these days there's more than enough to carry over to that of LeBron Jr. You know Microsoft probably sent that in special.
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Adam “Pacman” Jones
4 of 19Instagram ID: realpacman24
Caption: Happy Bday
Cincinnati Bengals cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones celebrated his most recent birthday with this trio of impressively elaborate cakes that were no doubt created for him free of charge. They’re obviously pretty great, but they’ve got nothing on…
Adam “Pacman” Jones
5 of 19Instagram ID: realpacman24
Caption: Had a ball , home safe
This! The Bengals-themed cakes were sweet, but this Pac-Man-themed spectacle is even tastier.
Colin Kaepernick
6 of 19Instagram ID: kaepernick7
Caption: Sour patch cake made from scratch......... Pretty impressive! #birthdaycake
San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick wasn’t kidding about his made-from-scratch Sour Patch Kids birthday cake. It’s pretty damn impressive.
Roy Hibbert
7 of 19Instagram ID: royhibbert55
Caption: Killed that birthday cake right there. On another note. I need a fresh cut. My line looks jacked up.
It’s hard to tell what the birthday cake in that photo actually was before the Indiana Pacers center started eating it whole with his bare hands. Something pretty awesome, no doubt.
Martellus Bennett
8 of 19Instagram ID: martellusb
Caption: 27th!!!
It’s only a single slice of cake, but obviously Chicago Bears tight end Martellus Bennett learned about quality versus quantity on his 27th birthday.
Pierre Thomas
9 of 19Instagram ID: pierre_thomas
Caption: All I want for my birthday is a............red velvet cake. [winky face emoji]
New Orleans Saints running back Pierre Thomas’ little birthday cake is understated, but you know it’s glorious. You know what they say about good things coming in small packages.
Tony Sanchez
10 of 19Instagram ID: tonytwobags
Caption: [No caption]
From the looks of that epic beast, it seems Pittsburgh Pirates catcher Tony Sanchez was sent a festive Uncrustables birthday cake by the good folks at Smucker’s. Either that or someone in his life is really dedicated to corporate shilling.
Earl Bennett
11 of 19Instagram ID: earlbbennett
Caption: Thank you for everything beautiful @mrs_keshiab I would be lost without you truly an amazing woman! Happy Bday to me [crazy eyeball with tongue sticking out emoji]
NFL free-agent wide receiver Earl Bennett was, at the very least, a king for a day on his birthday. Even if he can’t find a job right now.
Floyd Mayweather
12 of 19Instagram ID: floydmayweather
Caption: Check me out tonight and watch #DivasDelAzucar on MTV3 @DivineDelicaciescakes made me a championship cake 9pm est. #TMT #CakeDivas
For some reason people are always tripping over themselves to give boxer Floyd Mayweather free stuff, like this six-tiered birthday cake. Personally, I’d go out of my way to avoid a business that gives a person who makes $40 million a fight anything for free.
Taj Gibson
15 of 19Instagram ID: tajgibson22
Caption: Had alot of people surprise me with different cakes but this had to be the Best!!! [two birthday cake emojis]
Chicago Bulls forward Taj Gibson apparently gets a lot of cakes from randos for his birthday, though it’s no surprise this impressive masterpiece stands out among the bunch.
Lawyer Milloy
16 of 19Instagram ID: lawyermilloy
Caption: Special shout outs to @ColumbiaTower, @king5seattle,@Macklemore, @pinkabellacc, @druhaseattle,@Seahawks, @SaltysSeafood, @king5NewDayNW & #GoldfarbJewelery for your donations and promotions for my event this Friday. Gonna be EPIC! Details and ticket info on LawyerMilloy.com
Retired NFL safety Lawyer Milloy celebrated his recent birthday with this super sweet cupcake setup. But his 40th was a multiday event, and the bakers in his life were just getting started.
Lawyer Milloy
17 of 19Instagram ID: lawyermilloy
Caption: The Cake: Thx @cheflc for creating a masterpiece! #birthdayboy #40Club #charityevents #dessert
The cupcakes were probably better to eat, but this painstakingly detailed multi-tiered cake is definitely better to gawk at.
Adrian Clayborn
18 of 19Instagram ID: ajaclay94
Caption: Shout out to @xo_lorena_ox for the cake lastnight! My homegirl forreal!
Buccaneers defensive end Adrian Clayborn’s birthday cake from two years ago was a pretty elaborate spectacle, complete with a built-in pyrotechnics show.
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