POKER DESERVES THE ULTIMATE…SUCKS!!!

Poker is not a sport.

It belongs on TV about as much as the WNBA, but at least that’s a sport, it’s active, and it’s not five losers sitting around a table watching someone else flip cards over.

If you watch these LOSERS decked out in their oversized hoodies with the ball caps pulled low, their shades at an illegal tint while listening to their Black-Eyed Peas booming I-pods playing a card game, you are even a bigger LOSER!

It’s a game of goddamn luck so the next time the Boob hear an ESPN announcer talk about the amazing story of Loser Von Loserstein coming out of nowhere to win the Poker crown The Boob will fly to Bristol and punch them in their face. IT HAPPENS EVERY GODDAMN YEAR! It’s not amazing! It’s expected! What would be amazing would be to see a repeat champion in back to back years or holy crap, even pull off a three-peat. But that’s about as likely as the Boob stealing Brooklyn Decker away from Andy Roddick. (The Boob’s no schlub, but c’mon, The Boob’s a realist.)

So in conclusion, POKER SUCKS and EVERYONE and the Boob means everyone who has contributed to its “sports” proliferation BLOWS!