An Evening With Derrick Rose

Gather round all my Windy City chic-a-dees

As this homegrown Sports scandal grows

The story of the rookie who cheated in school

We present an evening with Derrick Rose

His talent put the world at his finger tips

A Superstar he was born to be

And he’s here to prove that he’s much more than

A dude who cheated on his S.A.T.

Was your coach as tense as he looked?

That dude was so nervous he paced the sideline

with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails.

Hey D-Rose, what do you think of this scandal?

Man, it will look great with a pedicure.

Wheat is to bread as tomato is to....

Err...No Comment...

A story more tragic than Hamlet

The more he speaks we see the less he knows…

Another Chicago Sports Icon down the crapper…

It's the sad, sad ballad of Derrick Rose…