10 Pics of Terrifying Old-School Mascots

Nick Dimengo@@itsnickdimengoFeatured ColumnistJune 2, 2014

10 Pics of Terrifying Old-School Mascots

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    Jamie Squire/Getty Images

    It's no secret that sports mascots are meant to inspire fun at the stadium as well as get fans to rally behind the home team.

    Unfortunately, that's not always the case. Some of our favorite teams' mascots have been less than stellar. 

    And some—the New Orleans Pelicans' "Pierre" for example—are downright terrifying enough to warrant a full-fledged makeover.

    While there have been many good ones that have stood the test of time, there have been plenty more who scared the hell out of everyone who saw them.

    These are just a few.

Squatch: Seattle Sonics, 1993-2008

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    While I never enjoy watching someone get into a car accident, this video of Sasquatch—the former Seattle Supersonics mascot—is just too good not to laugh at.

    What makes it great is that the expression on the face of the person in the outfit can't be seen, so even when Squatch is about to crash into the hay stacks in front of him, his blank stare never changes.

    While it's unfortunate that the Sonics are no longer a team, it's not so bad after seeing the mascot they had representing them when they were.

    In Sasquatch's defense, this was even worse when "Wheedle" was haunting the halls of the Kingdome.

Washington Redskins Mascot, 1995

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    George Rose/Getty Images

    There is so much wrong with the Washington Redskins mascot from 1995, it's not even funny.

    For those who think the nickname of the team isn't a big deal and that it doesn't play up stereotypes—I urge you to take a look at this wildly inappropriate mascot.

    He might not be terrifying or creepy in the same way as some of these others, but for being a walking, racist cartoon, I had to add him.

Matilda: Commonwealth Games, 1982

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    Uncredited/Associated Press

    At first glance, this gigantic kangaroo might not appear too scary, but wait until you hear the rest of her story.

    Standing at nearly 43 feet, this mechanical kangaroo not only moved around the stadium, it also winked at spectators in the crowd as it passed them—undoubtedly scaring the crap out of them in the process.

    It was based on a cartoon character, and if I had been there I would have wished they had just kept Matilda on my TV screen.

Stanley, the Steel Avenger: Pittsburgh Steelers, 1982-1998

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    AP Photo/NFL Photos

    Being from Cleveland, I already have a lot of animosity toward the Pittsburgh Steelers for absolutely owning my Browns all these years—and for having six Super Bowl rings.

    But when you consider the Steel City's NFL mascot from 1982 to '98, it should upset even Pittsburgh natives.

    Stanley, the Steel Avenger was like a mix between The Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz and a miserable attempt at a Halloween costume—and he's plain scary to look at.

Goleo VI and Pille: FIFA World Cup, 2006

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    JENS MEYER/Associated Press

    Good lord.

    The things people will do to help promote the game of soccer around the world.

    As the best and most influential player ever to play the sport, I doubt Pele was stoked to be standing next to the oversized lion used as the official mascot of the 2006 World Cup in Germany.

    Even scarier than Goleo is his smiling soccer-ball sidekick Pille, which reminds me of the talking wall from the Nickelodeon TV show Legends of the Hidden Temple.

Super Frog: Texas Christian University, 1979-Present

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    Brian Bahr/Getty Images

    Just when you thought you wouldn't have nightmares, the damn TCU Horned Frog mascot finds a way to make you lose sleep tonight.

    One of the most terrifying mascots from 10 years ago, the version pictured above is scary for its blank, bug-eyed stare and toothless smile, but the cyclopean version from way back when is the one that will really make you sweat tonight.

    It's clear that whoever is in charge of putting together the mascot costumes at TCU needs to be replaced.

Sport Billy: FIFA World Cup, 1982-1994

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    Associated Press

    Used to help promote fair play at the World Cup, a trophy of this terrifying little guy was actually given out to international squads back in the day.

    And though I admit that I still have a Cabbage Patch Kid named Frankie from when I was two years old, I wouldn't have held onto a trophy that looks anything like this creepy Billy kid—because those eyes will haunt your soul.

Tip and Tap: FIFA World Cup, 1974

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    Peter Hillebrecht/Associated Press

    What is up with Germany's mascots when they host the World Cup?

    As I pointed out with the 2006 version, the 1974 guys weren't any better—with two young boys named Tip and Tap earning the honors as the No. 1 fans.

    These kids just look weird, with crazy hair and jolly, buck-toothed smiles I can't help but stare at against my will.

Schneemann: Winter Olympics, 1976

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    Anonymous/Associated Press

    There's no way in hell I'm the only one wondering what happened to the rest of the bodies for these snowman heads—right?

    Used for the 1976 Winter Olympics in Innsbruck, Austria, they named this mascot "Schneemann" because it literally translates to "snowman" in German.

    While I don't doubt the country's ability to make a snowman, these things don't quite have the look of the ones I used to make growing up.

Boltman: San Diego Chargers, 1996-2009 and 2013-Present

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    I'm not really sure what the hell the San Diego Chargers were thinking by making this Boltman character their mascot.

    Seriously—it's like a sunshine version of a 'roided-up, creepy high school gym teacher yelling at kids to get an extra pushup in during class.

    I'm not a fan at all—nor should anyone else be.