A Day at the Snail Races: The Curious Case of World Champion Heikki

Whenever you type in the name "Heikki"on Google image results, there's only one ego that comes up; Formula One driver Heikki Kovalainen.

However, type in "Heikki the snail", and two things come up. Of course you still have pictures of Kovalainen, posted on the Internet by bitter Ferrari fans who claim the Finn is as "slow as a snail."

But you also get pictures of a World Champion who goes by the name of Heikki. Well, his trainer calls him Heikki, he had no choice in the matter really.

The similarity between the two is that the second Heikki mentioned was named after the first.

One of the differences between the two is that one is a World Champion in his sport, and the other is not.

And the most striking difference is that the World Champion Heikki, unlike his namesake racing driver, takes over three minutes to move just 13 inches, and is not even human.

While Heikki Kovalainen gets paid millions driving around in a super fast car in front of millions of people across the world and is at the top end of his sport, he has never had the luxury of being called World Champion.

But the other Heikki, just an ordinary snail desperately looking for some lettuce, does have that luxury.

And that's because, in July 2008, while Kovalainen was coming fifth in the German Grand Prix, Heikki was becoming World Champion, cruising to victory in the annual World Snail Racing Championships.

Races at the World Snail Racing Championships, like all snail racing events, take place on a damp cloth on a table.

Snail races usually take place on a circular track with the snails starting in the middle and racing to the perimeter, with the radius traditionally set at 13 or 14 inches.

And Heikki, owned by 13-year old Georgia Brown, crushed the competition and cruised his way to a much deserved victory, with an outstanding time (for a snail) of 3 mins 2 secs.

Apparently, the Championship has attracted media attention worldwide, but that remains to be seen, especially considering this article is not anticipated to generate over 10 reads.

But anyway, the point of this article, apart from the fact I'm trying to find a sponsor for my very own champion snail I found in my garden this morning, is that snail racing is booming, and next time you call Heikki Kovalainen as slow as a snail, just think, in terms of World Championship titles, he's been beaten by a snail!

The 2009 World Snail Racing Championships are to be held at The Cricket Field, Lynn Road, Congham, Norfolk, UK on Saturday 18th July 2009, starting at 2pm.

So, find a snail in your garden, pump it up with some lettuce, train it hard, and come along to see if your snail can be even greater than Heikki Kovalainen.

And if you want to know more, he's a little line about snail racing:

"It's a good clean sport, and everyone can get involved, and fortunately we've not had any doping scandals yet, no snail has failed a random slime sample!"

Well there you go folks, yet another reason to get involved in the biggest phenomenon since Orang-Utan boxing and Extreme Ironing, Snail Racing!