Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Mercilessly Destroys Youth Soccer Player in Penalty Kicks

"Subtlety" is not in Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's vocabulary. 

If there’s a beer in front of him, he’s inhaling it. If someone asks him to take a few snaps under center, he’s trying to drop back faster than Mike Vick. No half-measures exist in the life of Ford.

So it should come as no surprise that when organizers at a youth soccer camp for underprivileged children offered Ford a few shots on goal, he took no prisoners and booted the ball as hard as he could.

The plot twist? Ford rocketed his penalty shots past a child. 

Indeed, he teed off against a young boy, putting two balls past the kid from near-point-blank range. BarStoolSports.com spotted video of the mayor and his scorched-earth approach to playing against children.

According to Ann Hui of The Globe and Mail, the event occurred during a visit to Soccerworld Polson Pier on Wednesday afternoon. Ford booted one ball after the other, only to realize afterward he had went 100 percent on a 10-year-old.

“Sorry,” Ford said. “We’re buddies. I got to make it up to him.”

Ah, yes. The fresh, pine scent of hindsight.

Maybe blasting Roberto Carlos free kicks at the youth isn’t the best way to garner public sympathy. Then again, Ford’s tenure began screaming, “Forget you all, I’m doing me” long ago.

The only plausible explanation for the mayor going this hard against a kid would be redemption for past athletic failures. He was not about to let himself fall down or be embarrassed again. 

Be on the lookout for more Ford-y goodness. The man is a never-ending lowlight reel of public missteps.

Maybe next time they’ll put him in goal at a youth hockey league match. That could make for sweet, five-gap revenge.

Join me on Twitter for more sports news.

Follow @Dr_Carson_