Andre Agassi Embarrassed By "Mini-Me" Star (Satire)

Andre Agassi got more than he bargained for when he took celebrity small man Verne Troy to the "Annual Celebrity Father And Son Picnic".

Agassi was perplexed by Troy's constant skirt-chasing and heavy drinking ways.  The little man kept running around with his arms in the air with shouts of "Party!!".

The chief organizers told Troy several times to "tone it down" as he was frightening the other children. 

Troy was defiant.  "Scaring them? Most of them are bigger than I am!" 

Agassi himself lifted Troy, pinned him against a tree and gave him a talking to. 

"I don't know why I agreed to this incredibly stupid publicity stunt but you better grow up!" He said.

Upon hearing that, Troy went on a rampage.  "Grow Up?? Grow Up?? I'll show you grown up."

He then proceeded to toss food from all the picnic tables and in the end, many parents including Andre Agassi started to chase him around trying to catch him. 

Agassi was mortified.  "After trying to catch the little guy, I just gave up and sort of just hid behind a trash can.  I now have to face Steffi and explain to her why my own children are not at this event."

"It's a good thing because we would not want our children learning from this horrible behaviour."

The organizers said there were disappointed with Troy's behaviour but were open to having him back next year. 

Said one organizer, "Troy is a good guy.  I don't think we paired him with the right person.  Next year we are getting Patrick Stewart (who played Jean Luc Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation). 

Neither Patrick Stewart nor Mike Myers (who plays "Dr. Evil") could be reached for comment.