NFL Draft: Giving the Top 5 Draftees Nicknames

The NFL Draft is only a few hours from being over and Chris Berman is obviously huddled over a computer screen trying to come up with nicknames for these new NFL players.

I decided to beat him to it by a little bit, some are funny, some are serious, all are in good fun. 

So, without further ado, here are the nicknames for the top 5 Draft picks from Saturdays first round.

Jake "Why is it always 3rd and" Long

This guy is a great blocker, but he still plays for the Miami Dolphins.  They are bound to go through 50 different QB's because they don't realize that they still have 4 other guys that defenders can run through.

Chris "Did You Know My Dad Is Howie" Long

If he's a bust, he can always just tell his dad's stories to his kids and have them look it up that he was a DE, that should make them believable.

Matt "Stop Talking About Michael Vick" Ryan

No matter how much the Falcons try to distance themselves from this story, Michael Vick is going to haunt them, especially when he gets out of jail and tries to get re-instated.  I'm sure the 3rd pick in the Draft is going to want some of that attention.

Darren McFasten

No creating a middle name for this guy, he is fast as hell.  Why just change his last name to make it more accurate?

Glenn "I'll knock you out the" Dorsey (prounouce it Door (pause) See)

Glenn is one strong mutha-shut-yo-mouth.  He could probably kick my ass, your ass, and your uncle's ass at once.  Why not give him an appropriate nickname.

Well, eat your heart out Chris Berman.

I'm Joe W.