Most Embarrassing Moments in Sports
"We need to get out of here. Now."
If you've ever uttered these words, you have communed with the raw panic of public embarrassment.
It feels like someone dumping a cooler of ice water on the nape of your neck—a cooler with ball peen hammers at the bottom. The first wave of panic washes over you, then the realization that everyone is looking thunders home.
Welcome to any given day in the life of an athlete, who has to perform in front of millions of people on a weekly basis. Even the best screw up, and when they do, it's rebroadcast for days and immortalized on YouTube.
The following are some of the most embarrassing moments in sports, and they'll make you feel a lot better about that time you were pants'd in the middle school cafeteria.
MMA Fighter's Mom Climbs into the Ring
"Mommm...I'm tried to regain consciousness with my friends!"
Unless she had a tray of Pizza Rolls, no one was thrilled when mom barged in on you and your friends hanging out.
Perhaps the worst variation of this scenario was the mother of an MMA fighter who climbed into the Octagon after watching her son fall prey to a rear-naked choke earlier this March. The concerned mother crawled up nine feet of chain-link fence, screamed at officials and was eventually escorted from the ring by police.
The Vomit-Inducing Fart Submission
Warning: Video contains NSFW, fart-triggered vomiting.
Cooking up a vomelet in public is embarrassing, but dropping a vom bomb in the middle of a wrestling match would probably make you give up the sport.
No word on whether or not this grappler has dropped out of the business, but he'll never be able to live down the moment an opponent farted down his throat mid-match and caused him to toss his biscuits onto the mat.
Goalie Gives Up Game-Winner While Chatting with Fans
Southwest's "Want to get away?" slogan was handcrafted for moments like Keegan McHenry's game-losing goal.
With his team tied 1-1 in overtime with Denver University, the Utah State goalkeeper allowed a 200-foot shorthanded goal when he wandered off to talk to fans. Referees dropped the puck while McHenry was chatting by the boards and a Denver University player shot into the open goal from long distance.
Justin Bieber's Crossover
Fifty terrible "crossovers?" Check. Mack Maine standing around waiting for this facade to end? Roger.
The worst part about this video Justin Bieber posted to his (awful) Instagram account is that he doesn't think it's embarrassing.
The Prince Fielder Flop
Go Prince go! No! What are you doing??
Prince Fielder is many things, but a crafty base-path navigator he is not. The best part of Fielder plowing into the earth three feet from the bag is the little look he gives the ump.
"Was I close?"
Nick Young and the Layup to Nowhere
Swaggy P does some dumb things. It is known.
Whatever distant quadrant of the universe this layup was destined for, I hope it got there.
The Ignominious Butt Fumble
Much like an earthquake or chain lightning, sometimes something happens in sports so terrible you can feel it in the air and the soil.
The Butt Fumble was the New York Jets' doom-quake. The moment Mark Sanchez's face met Brandon Moore's dumper, Jets fans around the world knew that all the other turnovers and facepalm moments were but tremors leading up to this tipping point disaster.
In a way, it was almost beautiful. Almost.
John Wall's First Pitch
Can a point guard pitch?
Not John Wall, who sullied Nationals Park with a bounce pass/first pitch in 2011.
There have been worse first pitches, but few thrown by pro athletes in their prime.
Kent State Player Returns Ball the Wrong Way
You get out there on the field, and you're just so happy to be with the bros you don't realize you just returned the punt the wrong way.
Kent State's Andre Parker made an awkward, awkward mistake, but his failure barely scratches the surface of what the dumb Towson players did by pursuing and tackling him.
The Worst National Anthem
Imagine a forest fire. Now imagine it sweeping into a hockey arena.
That's probably what it felt like for fans at the 2013 Memorial Cup when singer Alexis Normand went about torching the U.S. national anthem into crispy nothingness.
Fortunately, everyone else in the stadium knew the lyrics and the crowd helped nurse her through to the end.
The Worst Hurdler Ever
I have no words. I once had them, but they are now gone.
We can only presume this man entered into this hurdle competition on a sick bet. He jumped a few times and, welp, time to break on through to the other side.
Bobsledder's Suit Explodes
Warning: Video contains NSFW images of a woman's bottom exploding through her skinsuit.
If you read the above warning, you know exactly what's happening in this video.
The sledder on the right rocks into the run a couple times and pow—you're staring into the abyss, and the abyss is staring back.
Brandon Weeden Gets Dropped by American Flag
Brandon Weeden remains the only pro athlete on record to run under the American flag like a kid in a grade school team-building exercise.
I like to think he was embarrassed at the time, but prides himself in it now. It's not like he took the flag and accidentally threw it to Russia, thus making it one of his better moments.
Jeremy Lin Calls Wrong Rookie, Tells Him Good Luck with His New Team
Things got awkward in 2012 when Jeremy Lin accidentally called the wrong Houston Rockets rookie to bid him farewell.
Lin had meant to reach Jeremy Lamb—who had been traded to the Oklahoma City Thunder—but ended up on the phone with the team's other rookie, Scott Machado.
Machado, who had been worrying about retaining his spot on the team, was terrified when Lin started saying farewell. The two eventually realized Lin had mixed up his rookies and clarified the situation, but you could probably scoop the awkwardness out of the air with your bare hands at the Rockets' next practice.
Player's Dad Accidentally Breaks Coaches' Trophy
"Listen son, I know you're just back for the summer, but your room is a mess. This isn't a dorm."
"Hey dad, remember that time you destroyed a national treasure?"
Yep, the father of an Alabama football player accidentally shattered the Coaches' Trophy in 2012 at a preseason practice. The crystal football had been placed on a table in the team's athletic facility, and the player's dad somehow managed to trip on the rug beneath the display.
The team paid to have the $30,000 Waterford trophy replaced, and the dad presumably never won another argument with his son ever again.