Tuesdays With Kenny: My Letter to the White Sox GM

Kenny! The Ken-Sterrr. Misterrrr Keeennnyyyydyyyyyyy!

What's good, homie?

It's been awhile since we last talked.

First off, I want to say that I'm not worried. The boys are in a transition spot, the Central is still up for grabs, and we get to knock around the Cubs next week.

Ozzie was right yesterday though—the hitting is Tender Trap ugly (don't ask). That got me thinking on a few questions I had though.

1: Who are you taking tonight?

Ye Olde Amateur Draft kicks off fairly soon, and there's a bunch of randoms available that could contribute. Personally, I'd take Jared Williams from LSU. He has a decent bat, good D, and he's the only player available that I've actually seen play.

2: When are you trading Josh Fields and Dewayne Wise?

Look, I wanted Fields to succeed as much as anybody after Crede left. I'm not sure if he's the guy though. Hitting .237 with 21 RBI isn't a good look. Plus, he has more errors than my math tests in high school.

Wise sucks. And the whole "I want you to boo me, it's MOTIVATION" thing was a lot better when Kellen Winslow did it.

All I'm saying? Trade one and one of the lovely young prospects we have on deck (more on that later) for an expiring contract in the outfield, like maybe Matt Holliday (I won't hold my breath).

3: I'm still proud of you for the whole Peavy thing.

Look, anyone whose dated knows that the hardest part can be putting yourself out there. You did everything you could though. You got your picks together, got Linebrink to be your wingman, and even got permission from the Padres/his parents.  Everything you said, "You can make me a lot better. I want you."

You got rejected.

It happens, man. Sometimes it's a girl who doesn't know what she wants, sometimes it's a pitcher who only wants to play in the NL. Live and Learn.

Anyway, the draft's about to start, so I'm going to go watch and see how the Nationals screw this one up. Have a great week and keep your nose clean.

Ernest.

*By the way, the farm system is stacked. Good work with that. Also, thanks again for drafting John Ely. I went to high school with him and he's a great kid.