NBA Mandate for Pau Gasol Photos Is a Success (Satire)

Under the orders of David Stern in conjunction with the Associated Press and Getty Images, photographers and dot—com teams covering the NBA Finals have done a stellar job capturing Lakers forward Pau Gasol at his absolute finest. See below.

The above photo captures POSITIVE INTENSITY.

While the NBA dot—com team opted for positive intensity, the folks at Yahoo! Sports wanted Gasol in his famed FATIGUED POOL OF PERSPIRATION.

And if you travel to Foxsports.com, catch Gasol with the lesser known, yet equally effective SCREAM FOR LIFE BECAUSE HIS JUNK IS ON FIRE.

All told, these shots are a hell of a lot better than the new Kobe face.

Nobody wants to see that.

Matt Sebek gives the nation an update on the proposed plans for the vacant patch of land that sits adjacent to the site of this summer’s All Star Game - Busch Stadium.

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