What We Learned From the NBA Playoffs

Wizards Bullets 19-63

The NBA finals are set: Kobe and the Lakers vs. Ron Jeremy (Stan Van Gundy) and his feisty Orlando Magic.  Go time Thursday night starting somewhere near midnight.

No, it wasn’t the finals that just about anyone predicted—at the All-Star break I said Cavs vs. Lakers with the Kobe’s winning it—but most of us were only half-right.

So what did we learn from the wretchedly-long, what seemed like an eight-month NBA playoffs? Let’s see:

• Houston made a nice run and Ron Artest – despite being a 8 19-time felon – should get a lot of credit for putting that team on his back and taking the Lakers to seven games.
• Speaking of Houston, what the hell is in the water? McGrady? Yao? The Easter Bunny? Injury city, baby.
• As I mentioned early in the season, San Antonio is really, really old. But they are also one of the best organizations in the league and will rebuild and be fine in a year or two. Unless Tim Duncan develops a personality.
• Orlando, as we said midseason, has little bench to speak of. But you know what? Despite the 82-game season and eight-month playoffs, it hasn’t seemed to matter yet. The team’s starters compiled more minutes than any other playoff starting five and they are playing very well.
• Oh, yeah, the Magic can really fill it from behind the three-point arc and Hedo Turkoglu could now be the NBA’s ugliest man since Sam Cassell has retired.
• Is LeBron a poor sport? Whose to say and who the hell really cares? I might have gone and kicked my teammates in the junk after a loss like that.
• To the Cavs Mo Williams – Jimmy the Greek you are not. The Greek had a much better afro and knew when his ship was sinking.
• Not sure about you guys, but I really miss the old-time Larry Bird and Magic Johnson-era finals. Not because of the quality of play or Bird’s mustache. But the afternoon start-times. I mean, maybe it’s my crystal-meth habit age, but despite loving the NBA even I had a tough time staying up for the games. Western Conference Finals games were starting at 9:30 EST.

The big question now will be which Lakers show up for the finals? The team that got trampled from time to time in these playoffs before ultimately beating down their opponents, or the team we expect to dominate? We’ll see, but I’m guessing Lake Show in six games.

Carry on.

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