Since Brian Shaw Banned Pizza and Nachos from the Locker Room, Nuggets Are 1-8

Adam Fromal@fromal09National NBA Featured ColumnistJanuary 2, 2014

The villain of this story relishing in his decision, even though relish probably isn't allowed in the locker room either.
The villain of this story relishing in his decision, even though relish probably isn't allowed in the locker room either.Isaiah J. Downing-USA TODAY Spor

The Denver Nuggets are in a funk, and the reason is abundantly clear. 

As shown on Reddit, the team has done nothing but lose games at a high rate ever since head coach Brian Shaw banned junk food from the locker room. Seriously, the team has gone 1-8 since the mandate that treated pizza and nachos like Rudy Gay views box scores, and the losses include dropped games to the Utah Jazz and struggling Memphis Grizzlies

B/R's Dan Favale commented on the news when it originally broke, and he was completely and utterly wrong: 

It's not unreasonable to believe the team would be dragging their feet after devouring foods loaded with grease and saturated fats. If you are in fact what you eat, Shaw was lucky his Nuggets were standing upright to begin with.

What a short-sighted analysis.

It's now obvious that Favale should've been thinking about the mental stimulation of these foods, as well as the morale boosts that the team would receive simply from eating what it wanted to enjoy. 

If that's carrots and celery, fine. If it's pizza and nachos, still fine. 

I know you're typically not supposed to draw causation from correlation, but failing to do so here would be a mistake on par with Tyler Hansbrough thinking that he was going to mess with Metta World Peace. 

This could be a basketball problem, as the Nuggets are starting out games slowly and failing to hold onto their vaunted home-court advantage. They could be struggling to make much noise on defense and putting too much weight on the diminutive shoulders of Ty Lawson

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SACRAMENTO, CA - OCTOBER 30:  Isaiah Thomas #22 of the Sacramento Kings drives past Darrell Arthur #00 of the Denver Nuggets during the third quarter at Sleep Train Arena on October 30, 2013 in Sacramento, California. The Kings won the game 90-88  NOTE TO
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Darrell Arthur told NBA.com's Michael Kelly after the seventh loss in a row, this one at the hands of the Miami Heat, "We're trying to put it together."

Allow me to read between the lines. 

Arthur really meant to say this: "We're trying to find a way to sneak pizza and nachos into the locker room behind Brian's back so that we can actually be fueled for the games. Without those calories, we just can't compete, and if you have any ideas, let me know how to put it together." 

Sure, it could be the poor play causing the losses. Or it could be the food. 


Yep, definitely the food.

Denver fans, help make Darrell Arthur happy. Help make the Nuggets play winning basketball again. Petition Shaw with me here and help let pizza and nachos back in the locker room!


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