UFC Survivor! Lesnar, Liddell, Lyoto and Others Battle To Survive

That's right you heard it here first—The UFC has done its own version of Survivor!, secretly taped over the past year.

The show is expected to be the first PPV event to be hosted by a major network, CBS.

A CBS Executive leaked spoilers for the entire season to his wife. This information was gained in a manner that for legal reasons we are not allowed to dis clothe, er disclose rather...

While the entire cast is unknown the following- SPOILER ALERT -spoilers include:

Week One:

Kongo is kicked off the island for failing the challenge. It was an unprotected genital kicking contest with Joe Son of UFC 4 fame. Sadly Kongo lost despite landing many many more solid shots than his opponent. Son did not appear affected by the duel.

Week Two:

Diego Sanchez disappears and is still missing to this day. Many suspect that he was taken off by the others and beaten to death in the darkness of the Jungle. As a result elimination that week is cancelled.

Week Three:

Brock Lesnar is tripped up and sent home when he fails a challenge to negotiate a contract with Dana White. In it he was to have total control of his own image and be allowed to take Sambo lessons...

Week Four:

Its Lyoto's turn to say Bye Bye after being caught red-handed using BJ Penn's toothbrush. Not cool man.

Week Five:

Chuck Liddell narrowly escapes elimination by winning a 5 round split decision victory over Bleacher Report's own Senior Writer Dorothy Willis in a Bare Knuckle Battle.

He celebrates by getting really fat and walking naked around the island for the rest of the show.

Whenever caught by the Camera- Chuck does his famous MMA Victory pose. In the nude while drinking 40oz Beers non stop.

Week Six:

Scandal Erupts when Brock Lesnar is allowed back onto the show after one cast member, Randy Couture, suddenly had to quit for contract reasons.

While many complain none dare say it to Brock's face! Only Chuck seems to frighten the HW Champ. "He's just so disgusting man I don't want him near me" says Lesnar.

Week Seven:

Brock is once again sent packing, having been caught red-handed using BJ Penn's toothbrush. Not cool man. A fight between the two has been set for the next date in which Kenny Florian might expect to get a shot at at the LW Title. 

Florian's aspirations will have to wait at least a year or two while preparations are made for the Superfight of the Century.

"It will take at least that long for BJ to show up at his expected fight weight of 285 lbs", explained Dana White. "You think this is funny? You think this is a F'ing joke?

The only other info I have been able to obtain indicates that Kimo and Matt Hughs form a powerful Faith Based Alliance, and oh yeah- Chuck Liddel screws everyone over and wins...A SIX FIGURE CONTRACT WITH THE UFC!!!

This is all the information this reporter was able to obtain. I was able to witness many many Bleacher report writers Also "interview" the CBS Executive's spouse.....

Perhaps more information has leaked on them, er to them rather. If so feel free to report it- Any REAL MMA fan would wanna know what happens next.

-Marco Yanitelli "The Italian Scallion"