Marion Bartoli Voices Her Opinion After French Open Defeat (Satire)

Having lost in straight sets yesterday, Marion Bartoli went on a tirade. Upset at losing to Tathiana Garbin, she said, “I was a little tired and a little sick. I had a sore throat and my nose is running.”

The Frenchwoman went on to say, “It was very cold and the court was heavy. The ball was stuck on the strings and it was very slow.”

Bartoli had yet to get everything off her chest as she finally criticised Garbin’s supporters, “It’s her clan. When I made unforced errors, her team would shout. It’s not sporting. They’re Italians. This is what it’s like.”

One day after the disappointment of being knocked out of the French Open, a reporter sat down with Bartoli to see if she would like to comment any further.

Reporter: Hi, Marion. Thanks for taking the time to have a quick chat.

Bartoli: No problem.

Reporter: OK. Firstly, are you feeling…(Bartoli interrupts the reporter)

Bartoli: Wait. You’re not Italian, are you?

Reporter: No, I’m Spanish.

Bartoli: Oh, that’s fine then.

Reporter: Aren't you part Italian? Your grandfather is Italian, right?

Bartoli: I'm from Corsica. I am not Italian.

Reporter: I just wanted to know how you are doing, since you were feeling sick yesterday?

Bartoli: Yes, I am fine now. It was really cold yesterday and I think that caused my nose to run.

Reporter: Yes, it was the coldest it’s been all week.

Bartoli: You don’t need to tell me. It was freezing. I had to wear a long sleeve top!

Reporter: Perhaps freezing is a slight overstatement, isn’t it?

Bartoli: No, definitely not. I said yesterday that the ball was stuck on the strings. What I meant was that the ball was frozen to the strings.

Reporter: Yes, well I missed that, but surely the weather conditions were the same for both of you?

Bartoli: Of course, but I can’t play in some of these conditions. Remember last year at Wimbledon. Bethanie Mattek beat me because it was very windy. Thankfully, Wimbledon has a roof now. It means the weather can’t affect me. There’s no place for weather in the modern game.

Reporter: I would like to move onto the crowd. Now you’ve had time to reflect, do you still stand by your comments with regards to Garbin’s camp?

Bartoli: Yes, I do. I don’t know what they were thinking. They were cheering when she won a point. It can be really distracting.

Reporter: They are entitled to cheer her on though, aren’t they?

Bartoli: To a certain point. It was at Roland Garros, but notice how the French fans made very little noise for me. They respected Garbin. If more fans act like Garbin’s, we may have to play these tournaments behind closed doors.

Reporter: OK. Thanks a lot, Marion. Good luck in future tournaments.

Bartoli: Thanks. I’m glad I could clear a few things up.