Brandon Weeden Nicely Roasted as 'Weeden Burger' Hits Local Restaurant

Gabe Zaldivar@gabezalPop Culture Lead WriterDecember 3, 2013

CLEVELAND, OH - OCTOBER 13: Quarterback Brandon Weeden #3 of the Cleveland Browns reacts after the game against the Detroit Lions at FirstEnergy Stadium on October 13, 2013 in Cleveland, Ohio. The Lions defeated the Browns 31-17. (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images)
Jason Miller/Getty Images

The life of a Cleveland Browns quarterback is an arduous one. You get ribbed by fans, concussed by defensive giants and generally lampooned over a growing list of futility.

But hey, at least you get some delicious hamburgers named after you. 

Oh! The burgers make fun of you too, huh?

Thanks to a tip from Bleacher Report Facebook reader Jeannie Jyurovat, we have a menu item that will have you laughing and quite possibly a little famished. 

Head on over to Briquettes Smokehouse's (Ashtabula, Ohio) Facebook page, and you will see their post for their newest item, a hilariously detailed "Weeden Burger," named after Browns QB Brandon Weeden. 

Here is a screen grab for your amusement: 

Photo Credit: Briquettes Smokehouse Facebook

As you see, the Weeden Burger is a delicious burger cooked just the way you like it, but it will hardly be satisfying because there is no hope and everything is awful—at least that's what we have gleaned from Browns faithful over the years. 

The only thing better would be if they served a half-empty bottle of beer, perfectly rounding out the sentiment that surrounds the redheaded man under center. 

Oh, but it gets worse for Weeden—far worse. 

The 30-year-old was recently referenced in a fan-created parody of classic holiday songs. Go ahead and take a gander at "A Very Angry Browns Fan Christmas," unless, of course, you are employed by the NFL franchise in Cleveland. 

On Sunday, the Browns dropped their eighth game of the season, losing to the Jacksonville Jaguars, 32-28. The team now sits at the bottom of the AFC North, right around the level of expectations from its respective fans. 

Even the Browns' official Twitter account got in on the guffaws. While deleted, Black Sports Online managed to capture the following screen grab of this tweet: 

Photo Credit: Browns Twitter (via Black Sports Online)

As ESPN reports, things are more dire than merely ineffective play. Weeden suffered a concussion on Sunday, placing his name next to a growing list of injured Browns quarterbacks. Jason Campbell has a concussion and Brian Hoyer is out with a knee injury. 

In Sunday's loss, Weeden threw for 370 yards and three touchdowns. Not a bad day for...oh, he also threw two interceptions and lost a fumble. Through eight games, Weeden has nine picks and six fumbles. 

Perhaps it was time he got his very own burger. Good luck ever enjoying that thing, because even if it is delicious—which, because of its namesake, it probably isn't—you will never get to sink your teeth into it and experience any amount of joy. 

As we have all learned, everything is horrible and the world is awful—at least according to Browns players and anything named after them. 

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