The Jokes Are On Manchester United

Thought I would bring to your attention some humor floating around the world wide web.

I was on the way in today and I could hear this beeping noise coming from Salford. Must have been the open-top bus reversing back into the garage.

Apparently Wayne Rooney has had a phone call from Harry Potter. He wants his invisible cloak back.

Swine Flu discovered in Italy: 30,000 United fans pig-sick.

Welder needed in Salford: to put the roof back on a double-decker bus.

Traffic Update: All roads in Manchester open as usual today

Ferdinand off to Spain: He’s got a job on the beach at Benidorm.

What does a United fan say to his son after watching the Mighty Reds retain the Champions League? “Turn the Playstation off son, it’s getting late.”

Michel Platini has announced that the next time United get to a European Cup final, they must play with two balls so they can have a kick.

For Sale: 30,000 Man United Final flags—good as new—only been waved for 10 minutes

For Sale: 70,000 Man United Champions League Winners 2009 t-shirts. Contact: www.overconfidentb**stards.com

A bloke goes into a brothel in Rome and asks “How much for humiliation?”

The Madam answers “40 Euros”

“What do I get for that?” he asks.

“A Man United shirt”

Apparently all roads now lead out of Rome and back to London, Devon, Dublin, Dorset…

Doctors are today carrying out tests on Nemanja Vidic by force-feeding him. It’s to see if he only chokes in big games.

And finally…Manchester City Council have today issued a flood warning due to the masses of City fans p!**ing themselves with laughter.