Detroit Lions Suffering from "The Curse of Marvin Gaye"

[Author's Note: The facts in this article are entirely accurate and based on sources I have made up for the production of this article.]

In the 1960s, the world was a different place. A brilliant young athlete couldn't live on meager earnings from playing sports. It was because of this, Marvin Gaye turned down scholarship offers from USC and Alabama and turned to his second career choice, singing.

By 1971, Gaye had spent too long watching second-rate hacks like Lem Barney and Dick LeBeau make Pro Bowls. He decided to try out for his local team, the Detroit Lions.

Gaye shined in camp and made friends quickly. Lem Barney and Mel Farr would go on to sing background vocals for "What's Going On" earning them a gold record (this one's true folks).

Tight end, Charlie Sanders was said to shy away from matchups with Gaye saying, "Ain't no mountain high enough to keep him from getting to the football."

Gaye's highlight reel in camp included multiple interceptions of Quarterback Greg Landry, who would later go on to beg coaches to sign Gaye, refusing to play in any game if he were the opponent.

Not all would-be teammates shared the love for Marvin. Fullback Steve Owens often complained that he did not feel comfortable with Gaye's trademark smacktalk of "You're about to get some Sexual Healing!"

Finally, as camp drew to a close, coaches worried that it would upset team chemistry to sign Marvin Gaye and immediately start him at nine different positions. Gaye "Heard it Through the Grapevine" that he was being released and left camp under his own terms.

It is legend that a young ball boy heard him utter curses upon the Lions saying "The Lions aren't going to win for 38 years, a year for each time I picked off that chump Landry."

Lions fans, with the Curse of Marvin Gaye behind us...the time is now.