Bengal Banter: Hollywood Goes to LSU

"Goin’ to the picture-show," was one of the greatest statements that my paw-paw would say that sent my happy meter well past overload.

I absolutely loved to go to the movies…especially with my grandfather. 

Movies have become such a big part of our lives for most of us. It’s a chance to let go and unwind; the chance to be entertained and to live, if not just for a few moments, in a world that’s not our own. 

That got me to thinking. If Hollywood wanted to film a movie about LSU football, who would they cast as the coach? 

It would depend on the era, but I thought of three actors who could play the part of three well known LSU Football coaches. 

There’s no one more well known than former LSU Coach Charles McClendon. Sorry Nick, you didn’t stay long enough.

"Cholly Mac" was the man! 

He was coach for the Tigers when I was a kid, and it was this era that I fell in love with LSU Football. Paul Dietzel hand picked Coach Mac to take over when he left. 

Coach led some of the finest LSU teams during his tenure which spanned for over 18 years. He is a legend and hero among many Louisianians.

Who in the world could play this saint?

It sounds a bit "sacrilegious," but based on looks alone, I think a younger Randy Quaid would be a great choice.

You know, Randy Quaid. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Days of Thunder, and Independence Day to name just a few films he’s been in. 

Quaid is most known for his comedy rolls, but he has been cast in several parts that call for a more realistic and drama focused character during his career.

A younger Quaid would be a perfect match for the late great, younger "Cholly Mac."

Another LSU Coach who has a double as an actor is Mike Archer.

I know this is a tad bit of a stretch to visualize, but the guy who could play Coach Archer would be Jeffrey Jones. 

Your like…"WHO?"

Ed Rooney, you know…Ferris Bueller’s Principal in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

If you make Ed Rooney a tad bit thinner and darker hair that is combed back…you got Mike Archer.

Now, I personally don’t have a big soft spot in my heart for Coach Archer. He came in replacing Bill Arnsparger which had LSU faithful madder than a *%&^#. 

Especially since there were a few coaches...you may have heard of some of these names who were candidates?  Just maybe?  

Steve Spurrier.

Mike Shanahan. 

Mack Brown. 

Yes...they may sound familiar.  I’ll say it again. "Reportedly," Steve Spurrier, Mike Shanahan, and Mack Brown.

Does the phrase "Hindsight is 20/20" come to mind? What was Bill thinking?

But Arnsparger "hired" Ferris Bueller’s Principal.  Wow!!??!! 

Lastly, we have Coach Les Miles.

Coach Miles has a look that's great on film and could most likely play himself, but Hollywood would most likely go professional here and go with Kurt Russell as their main guy who gets the roll.  

Kurt Russell, you know: Escape From New York, Goldy Hawn's Beau? 

You cut Kurt’s hair, add a little movie magic on the hairline, and you got Coach Miles.

Don't forget the hat...it has to fit snug.

Russell's not just all looks; he could even do a wonderful job portraying Coach Miles Persona.

I could see the take now. 

Scene: Press conference Atlanta. SEC championship game. Take One...Action!

“There was some misinformation on ESPN and I think it’s imperative that I straighten it out. (pause - Camera pans in for face shot)

I am the head coach at LSU. (steely glare)

I will be the head coach at LSU. I have no interest in talking to anybody else. I’ve got a championship game to play, and I am excited about the opportunity of my damn strong football team to play in it. (Squint, Flex Jaw Muscles)

That’s really all I’d like to say. It was unfortunate that I had to address my team with this information this morning. (Stare)

With that being done, I think we’d be ready to play. There will be no questions for me. I represent me in this issue. Please ask me after. I’m busy. Thank you very much. Have a great day.” (Pause, Flex Jaw Slightly, Squint, and Turn to walk)

You see what I’m saying. Kurt could play that part to a tee!!!

I wonder if Martin Scorsese is busy? 

See you at the movies.