Hulk Hogan is No Longer Immortal

Things keep getting worse for the Hulkster. A few weeks ago, Hulk suffered from a case of the PR flu, when he made that whole OJ murder of the wife thing.

Then this past Tuesday, Terry Bollea was ignored on the JoeSportsFan documentary featuring great moments in orange skin history.

To make matters worse, ex-wife Linda (who is tagging a 19-year-old friend of the kids, likely in the Hulkster’s car) wasn’t allowed to attend Brooke’s rousing 21st birthday party because she wasn’t invited. They really put the fun in dysfunction, those Hogans.

Following dinner, Brooke partied with (and couldn’t keep her hands off) her beau inside PURE nightclub while typically protective Hulk looked on disapprovingly.

As for brother Nick, his quest to earn a reality show isn’t going too well, but he—like his family—is chock full of sweetness.

But even though the 18-year-old wasn’t allowed inside PURE with his big sis last week, he is reportedly a regular at Agoura Hills nightclub Chapter 8 where is he often brought to the DJ booth and announced as being “a celebrity in the house.”

Just super stuff. Things, sadly, keep getting worse for Hulk:

“My tailbone is bent from landing on my ass, 400 times a year,” he says. “My back’s got all kinds of problems. My legs get numb. My hands are numb. My neck, too. I’ve got arthritis and scoliosis. I’m 6–4. I used to be 6–7.”

At his peak, Hogan raked in $20 million a year; today, he has trouble paying his bills.

Karma can be a damaging thing. So can owning an $18 million home, and 20+ cars and motorcycles. Oh, and cheating on your wife. That’s never a sound investment.

May 14

1967 - Mickey Mantle becomes the sixth Major Leaguer to join the 500-homer club with a shot off Stu Miller. No idea who Stu Miller is, but the odds of an alcohol-related one liner in reference to Mickey celebrating the accomplishment seems like it would fit here. If something comes to us soon, we’ll let you know.

1972 - Willie Mays homers off the Giants in his first game with the Mets, a game-winning shot that gives the Mets a 6-5 win. It’s akin to Brett Favre throwing a TD pass against the Packers in his first game as Jets quarterback, which would be a remarkable feat given his first game as Jets QB came against the Dolphins.

1986 - Reggie Jackson passes Mickey Mantle with his 537th career homer. And thus concludes a historic day of Hall of Famers synonymous with drinking, tax fraud, and killing the Queen. Wait that was the guy who played Willie Mays Hayes who didn’t pay his taxes. Right on.

JoeSportsFan’s Fake Myspace Pages have finally returned to the building! Relive all the pomp and circumstance with Roger Goodell, Mike Krzyzewski, Mel Kiper and Charlie Weis.

Oh and don’t forget about Erin Andrews.

Fun times. Get Reacquainted.

G.I. Joe wants to remind you that umpires are necessary to maintain order in sandlot baseball games.

Really important lessons for the youngsters.

The third candidate for the NFL Coach mustache shakedown makes an appearance courtesy of the prestigous president of the American Mustache Institute, Dr. Aaron.