Left Turn Louie: Mayfield…Super Fly

Dumb ass Mayfield (Jeremy the Sprint Cup driver and owner, not the late great singer/composer Curtis) just had his dumb ass suspended for violating NASCAR’S substance policy.

I used “dumb ass” twice to cover both of his jobs. NASCAR, per policy, would only say what the substance was not.

They said it was not alcohol. That basically narrows it down to recreational drugs and/or steroids.

Who does Mayfield think he is…Clemens, A-Roid, Manny, Randy Orton (and 90 percent of the WWE), “The Great” Quincy Carter?

Two crew members, Tony Martin (No. 34 car) and Ben Williams (No. 16 car) were also busted for doping…on the same day.

Now, I’m not saying the three cases are related, but HMMMmmmm! I don’t know, but could this mean that Mayfield is not only a user, but also a pusher?

Or does he think this is the 1960’s and he’s the owner of the San Diego Chargers?

Just for spits and grins, let’s just say that Mayfield was (ALLEGEDLY) using recreational drugs.

Is he CRAZY?

Who the heck in their right mind (or fuel-injector) gets high and then drives a car at 190 MPH?

Okay, so my cousin “LEE-Roy” in Arkansas does it every Friday night on the dirt road next to his cow pasture, but he doesn’t count.

I’m thinking Mayfield couldn’t have used ‘roids. I mean, you don’t have to be The Incredible Hulk to keep turning left. We could, however, say that the crew members (ALLEGEDLY) used ‘roids. Those big-ass tires ARE heavy.

Of course, Mayfield blames the negative tests on a combination of prescribed and over-the-counter meds. SNICKER! But hey…I believe him…just like I believe that Lions player who predicted that the Lions will make the playoffs next season. YYYY-YEAH…RRRR-RIGHT!

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