An Open Letter to Stan Van Gundy

A letter to Orlando Magic head coach Stan Van Gundy, based on the Eminem song, "Stan."

Dear Stan,

I meant to write you sooner but I've been busy,

You said your team is in the playoffs, you made it out of the first round?

Look, it's really cool that you've made it this far,

and with your man Dwight Howard,

there should be no way you're going down.

I'm sorry I didn't see your game, I didn't mean to miss you.

Don't think I did that intentionally just to try to dis you.

Do you remember what Shaq said, to try to get into your head?

He said you would let your team down in the playoffs.

You've got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling,

to help your mouth from blaming your team when you get down some.

You know I just saw something crazy on the news,

some coach was calling out all of his players for no reason,

he will definitely get fired real soon.

His superstar came out and dissed him too...

Come to think of it,

that coach—it was you.