Fantasy Football Team Names: Most Hilarious Options for 2013

Chris Roling@@Chris_RolingFeatured ColumnistAugust 5, 2013

Jul 26, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick (7) leaves the field at the end of practice during training camp at the Eagles NovaCare Complex. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports
Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

One of the absolute best aspects of playing any kind of fantasy football is taking the time to track down some of the funniest fantasy football names. 

A funny fantasy team name can make all the difference in a league. Beating up on a Patriots fan is awesome when your team name is "Belichick Yourself Before You Rex Yourself," but not so much if you have some generic name with the word "touchdown" in it. 

In case you haven't heard, the 2013 NFL offseason itself has been pretty darn exciting. All of the major stories also spawn hilarious fantasy names for owners to get creative with when naming their teams. 

Don't be that loser in fantasy leagues who steals names from his or her competitors. Here are a few fresh and hilarious options for your fantasy team name in 2013. 

E-Vick-tion Notice 

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There is a serious quarterback battle going on over in Philadelphia that could end up in Michael Vick losing the starting job—or worse. 

Second-year quarterback Nick Foles is a serious threat to the starting gig and rookie quarterback Matt Barkely could not be far behind if new head coach Chip Kelly is as crazy as everyone claims. 

There's also the fact Vick simply cannot stay healthy. He last played in a full 16-game season in 2006. He was under center for 10 games last year.

Vick could be served an eviction notice this preseason. That's great for you, especially if you rock this fantasy name while taking down an Eagles fan in the process. 

Thrift Schaub 

Guess what? You can probably land Houston Texans quarterback Matt Schaub very late no matter what kind of league you play in—and no one would bat an eye. 

Except you, because you know football. 

Schaub quietly passed for over 4,000 yards last year and tossed 22 touchdowns. His favorite target in Andre Johnson is back and there is finally exciting potential across from him in rookie DeAndre Hopkins. 

We're not explicitly telling you to grab Schaub, but he's a heck of a value—especially if you're some hipster who loves Macklemore

Waka Flacco Flame 

Of course, if your musical tastes are a bit more extreme, you could nab Joe Flacco to make this fantasy name fit. 

This also means you trust the Ravens quarterback to play like he's worth $100 million. Considering he threw for over 3,800 yards and 22 scores last year, that's not a horrific bet. 

Then again, his favorite target Anquan Boldin is now a member of the San Francisco 49ers and his tight end and college roommate Dennis Pitta is out for the year with a hip injury

Again, you have to be a bit extreme for this one to work. 

Shonnshank Redemption

Speaking of extreme, you'd have to be crazy to pick up Tennessee Titans running back Shonn Greene this year. 

Clearly he's a risk because he once played for the New York Jets, no? 

Actually, Greene quietly racked up back-to-back 1,000 yards seasons and it sounds as if the coaching staff is planing on using him like former running back LenDale White—a monster who in one season rushed for over 700 yards and 15 touchdowns at the height of his (short) career. 

Or, you could completely ignore Greene and just bask in the glory of having a name based off an amazing movie. Your choice. 

Bjoern to be Wild

Hey, we didn't forget you IDP guys! We'll also switch gears here for a second and get back to the music if you're into that sort of thing.

If you're a rabid Indianapolis Colts or Florida State fan, you're probably comfortable taking a flier on rookie outside linebacker Bjoern Werner. 

That's not a halfway bad idea, as Werner has the potential to be a disruptive pass-rusher at the NFL level after recording 23.5 total sacks in three years with the Seminoles. 

Werner is spending most of training camp with the Colts as a backup so far, but if you're in it for the long haul in a dynasty, you have a nice one-two punch here with name and player. Werner will be good for a long time once he gets going. 

Oh, Have Percy!

If you've already completed your fantasy draft and were unfortunate enough to pick Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Percy Harvin, then we don't really have to say much else. 

Except why in the world are you taking a receiver that has missed 10 games in four years with consistent injuries in the first place? 

Sure, Harvin represents a good value and could have put up fantastic numbers with second-year phenom Russell Wilson, but only if, and we want to stress the if here, he could manage to stay healthy. 

You probably know by now, but Harvin is out at least through Thanksgiving after undergoing an operation to correct an issue with his hip. 

If you own Harvin in a fantasy league, yelling this phrase while smacking your forehead was the proper course of action.

Follow me on Twitter for more NFL news and analysis @Chris_Roling