Arsenal Transfer Rumours: Gunners Should Steer Clear of Fernando Torres

There are a few nightmares that everyone has probably experienced once in their lives. Showing up to school naked. Falling from a great height. Being chased while running in slow motion. Arsenal finally having a big transfer budget and choosing to sign Fernando Torres. 

Okay, so perhaps that last one is specific to me. But according to Dean Jones and Dave Kidd of the Mirror, it might just come true:

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Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger wants to bring Fernando Torres to the Emirates, write Dean Jones and Dave Kidd of the Sunday People.

And Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho is ready to let the Spaniard leave.

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The report goes on to add:

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But it’s news of Arsenal’s move for striker Torres—who is wanted at the Emirates along with Real Madrid star Gonzalo Higuain—that will create shockwaves.

The ambitious Gunners board are desperate for star signings after years of letting their biggest names leave.

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This is what I imagine the brains of many Gooners felt like while trying to parse out the logic of Wenger pursuing Torres, or even entertaining the slightest notion of pursuing Torres.

And here's what I imagine the rest of my day would be like if Arsenal actually brought the Spanish striker aboard.

I kid, I kid. Besides, I drink like that during every Arsenal game anyway. 

I kid again, obviously. I don't care for carrot juice. 

Of course, I don't honestly have nightmares about Torres. For all of his struggles since joining Chelsea two-and-a-half seasons ago, he still managed to score 23 goals in all competitions this year. 

Sure, only eight of those goals game in Premier League play. And sure, he's far from the elite player that scored 24 league goals for Liverpool in the 2007-08 season. But there are worse strikers out there than Torres. 

Of course, the problem is Arsenal needs better strikers than Torres on the team. 

I don't understand why Wenger would look to bring on Higuain and Torres. For one, I feel confident in Olivier Giroud deputizing for Higuain if he becomes a Gunner. It's not as though Torres or Higuain would pair together on the pitch. If Wenger wants to add a supporting offensive threat to Torres, he'd be better off bringing Stevan Jovetic aboard. 

Hey, a man can dream, okay?

Besides, given how much coin Chelsea originally gave up to bring Torres aboard, he's always going to be an overpriced transaction. And Arsenal could better use that money elsewhere, like in defense or, more importantly, on a physically imposing holding midfielder. 

There is just no scenario in which adding Torres makes sense. He's no longer good enough to lead Arsenal's line, he's too expensive to add as a deputy with Giroud already in town and he wouldn't make sense playing in the hole behind the striker. 

There's a reason this rumour reminds me of bad dreams, folks. I don't think it will happen, but I'm prepping the carrot juice just in case.