NBA Rules of Embarrassment

I’m a firm believer that certain events in the NBA should carry automatic consequences. For example, if a player intentionally throws an opponent into the scorer’s table, the culprit should automatically receive a “Flagrant 2″, then get ejected, fined, and suspended.

Ditto for “cold-cocking/fish-hooking” an opponent in the mouth while being nowhere near the ball. Subsequent counter-claims of “that’s just playoff basketball” do not hold water…or blood. What’s next?…Hitting guys over the head with chairs, a la the WWE?

But in addition to such “automatics” for individual crimes, there should also be team “automatics”. Fans of the New Orleans Hornets and Philadelphia 76ers, please feel free to object. I won’t listen, but HEY…It’s a free country, so…speak up!

If a team in the playoffs loses by 58 points (round it down to 50 for easy math for the media and NBA execs), AT HOME, then said team should be immediately automatically eliminated from the playoffs.

I’m serious, as no team who gets a booty-kicking like that deserves to even have fans paying to see them play, much less deserves to be in the playoffs. On a related note: What happened to “CP3″? He (and the entire Hornets team) looked more like “Pee Pee 3″.

The same fate should await any playoff team that loses by 25 points, AT HOME, with TWO-FIFTHS of the opponent’s starting line-up out, when one of those fifth’s is an all-star and virtually the only star on the team, ie Dwight “Superman” Howard.

Now, Sixers fans can’t get too upset with my proposal, since the inept Sixers were eliminated, 4-2, when they lost that game to the Magic anyway.

But I want this new rule in place for when the Sixers or some other joke team does it again, earlier in a playoff series.

Implement my proposals and the NBA playoffs will then be truly “AMAZING” aka the polar opposite of the Hornets, Sixers and the referees and NBA execs in Rajon Rondo’s and the Celtics’ hip pockets.

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