Tim Duncan Forgets He Has Arms, Rediscovers Them to His Own Amazement

We’re about to discuss Tim Duncan finding his arms for the first time ever. So if you’re not down with T.D.E. (Tim Duncan’s Extremities), it’s time for you to bounce. 

That being said, Tim Duncan discovered his arms on Saturday night. It was a moment of sublime Duncan-ness that one person noticed and chose to give back to the world, where Deadspin picked it up.

Duncan was sitting on the sideline doing strange Duncan things during Game 3 against the Grizzlies when creeping Jehoshaphat! Arms, Basil! What are these?!

One viewer noticed the revelatory moment and uploaded the footage with the title “Tim Duncan Realizing He Has Arms,” thus adding yet another delicious layer to Duncan’s bone-deep goofiness.

The footage is pure spun gold. Duncan—who’d finished the game and was sitting on the bench with his killer stat line on full display—begins brushing his arms with a towel, only to start gawking at them as if he had been expecting crab pincers instead of man-arms and opposable thumbs. 

The same appendages he’d used all night to help build the Spurs a 104-93 victory over the Memphis Grizzlies were a mystery. One that he accepted with a shrug that said “Welp, guess I’m a person.”

Not to rain the parade—or suggest that the video can’t plausibly be a 37-year-old man noticing his limbs for the first time—but perhaps the towel was covered in cat dander. Nothing is worse than sitting in cat dander, except perhaps sitting in experimental hair plugs.

I’m looking at you, Manu Ginobili.