These People Should Be First In Line For Swine Flu Vaccines
Ladies and gentlemen it has come to our attention that a vaccine for swine flu will be available soon and list of those most likely to contract the virus has been compiled, so these folks should go the front of the line.
Kevin Bacon, actor and dancer, to the sixth degree; Jack Ham, former Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker; Floyd "Pork Chop" Womack, Cleveland Browns offensive tackle; any former member of the Washington Redskins offensive line circa 1980s aka The Hogs; anyone closely associated with the Arkansas Razorbacks and most residents of Jim Hogg County, Texas.
Ham Radio Operators and Sarah Ferguson, formerly known as the Duchess of Pork before her Weight Watchers diet, are thought to be OK, but should be on the waiting list.
Of course all of this is hyperbole and done in jest.
Speaking of someone who likes to hog attention, Mel Kiper Jr. spoke on a few of the players and prospects taken in the NFL draft.
"You can look at the history of the draft over the last five years and a lot of guys make it," Kiper said. "A lot of free agents will beat out the fifth, sixth and seventh round picks. There is a very fine line between being a free agent and a fifth-round pick."
Of Tampa Bay taking quarterback Josh Freeman of Kansas State, Kiper said: "Josh, we know he has risk vs. reward. We know there is boom or bust with him. Coach him, let him have a chance to learn. You’ve got two veteran quarterbacks there to battle it out. He should sit his rookie year and not play. Watch, learn from Byron (Leftwich), learn from (Luke) McCown. Adapt to the system and by year two he can be the starting quarterback.”
Bowl updates
The EagleBank Bowl in Washington, D.C., will be played on Tuesday, Dec. 29, at RFK Stadium with a 4:30 p.m. (EST) national telecast on ESPN. The game matches Army against a team from the Atlantic Coast Conference. If Army is not bowl eligible, a Conference USA opponent will face the ACC invitee. The St. Petersburg Bowl will be Saturday, Dec. 19, at Tropicana Field, in prime time at 8 p.m. (EST) on ESPN. The game pits Big East vs. Conference USA opponents. The Meineke Car Care Bowl in Charlotte is set for Saturday, Dec. 26, at 4:30 p.m. (EST) on ESPN and matches teams from the Atlantic Coast and Big East at Bank of America Stadium.
Spring's the thing
With three spring games remaining, Ohio State has set the standard for attendance with 95,722 followed by Alabama with 84,000 and Nebraska at 77,670. The 111 NCAA FBS squads have drawn 1 million-plus fans for the third year in a row during their spring games. Last year's total of 1,403,527 in 112 contests, an average of 12,996, set a record for total turnout.
The Crimson Tide also have agreed to a home-and-home series with Michigan State. The first matchup is Sept. 3, 2016, at Bryant-Denny Stadium. Alabama will visit Spartan Stadium on Sept. 2, 2017.
