The Greatest Interview Howlers in World Football

Charles Lawley@@charleslawleyContributor IMay 6, 2013

The Greatest Interview Howlers in World Football

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    Last week, British television channel ITV caused controversy by cutting short Jose Mourinho’s post-match interview after Real Madrid's Champions League exit at the hands of Borussia Dortmund.

    Viewers complained that Mourinho was talking about his future and possible move to England when they cut to the 10 o’clock News.

    As if there is any bigger news in the world than where Jose will go in the summer.

    ITV defended their decision by saying it could have cost them £500,000 to extend the interview. Like that’s any excuse.

    So what other interviews in football have just gone wrong one way or another?

You Have Micah Richards' First Interview

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    It's easy to assume young footballers are children who have lived a life of innocence, wrapped in cotton wool and the rudest word they know is "fiddlesticks".

    But you forget you were a child once. And you knew some terrible words. Some of them don't even make sense.

    When giving his first post-match interview, Manchester City's Micah Richards showed his media inexperience by swearing like Gordon Ramsey after he's burnt the dinner.

Jamie Carragher Mentions You Nearly Lost Your Job

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    Do we all remember the Andy Gray & Richard Keys vs. All the women in the world feud of 2011?

    Of course we do.

    One of the few people to keep their jobs at Sky Sports, despite making sexist comments, was Andy Burton.

    Some would say Burton was lucky to keep his job.

    And Jamie Carragher is one of these people. In fact he told Burton he was lucky to keep his job, to his face, while he interviewed him after Liverpool's 2012 League Cup win.

    We'll see if Andy Burton will indeed "love to have him at Sky" when Carragher joins them as a pundit next season.

You Get Hit in the Head by a Ball

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    One of the hazards of having pundits by the side of the football pitch is the increased risk of being hit with a football when you're not expecting it.

    And this is something Martin Keown knows all too well.

    That is unless the impact of the ball caused some memory loss.

Your Interviewee Gets Hit in the Head by a Foot

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    There's so many things that can go wrong on live TV.

    And the last thing you need to happen when conducting an interview is the subject getting kicked in the head by one of his colleagues.

    Watch as Antonio Cassano is having a lovely little chat when his teammate, and taekwondo black belt, Zlatan Ibrahimovic kicks him in the head.

    In. The. Head.

    How do you carry on with an interview after that?

You Ask the Stupidest Question the Interviewee's Ever Heard

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    Tomorrow you get to attend a press conference with probably the greatest manager of all time, Sir Alex Ferguson.

    And It's on the eve of his side taking on possibly the greatest club side of all time, Barcelona.

    It's a press conference so you'll likely only get one question and you need to make it a good one.

    You get out your notepad, you jot some ideas down.

    Nothing is jumping off the page.

    It's 2 a.m. You've been trying to write the perfect question for 12 hours now and nothing. Time to go to bed and work on it in the morning.

    You get in bed, you slide into the covers, shut your eyes and are about to drift off.


    You've got it!

    You'll ask him this: If he could have any of the Barcelona players in his side, which one would he choose?

    You jump out of bed. You write it down. He'll love this. Sir Alex will absolutely love this.

    Or maybe he won't. Or maybe he'll describe it as the "stupidest question I've ever heard."

    You never get invited to a press conference again.

    You go back to your old job working in a butchers.

You Interview Mario Balotelli and He Does Something Balotelli-Esque.

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    You can't have much sympathy with the interviewer on this one.

    Everyone knows what Mario Balotelli's like.

    It's like interviewing a frog and not expecting it to croak.

    But it could have been worse. At least he didn't set off fireworks or drive round the pitch on a monster truck.

You Interview George Best and He Does Something George Best-Esque

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    He was one of the greatest players to ever kick a ball and he could lose anyone who would mark him.

    But he could never lose the grip alcohol had on him.

    Here he was, under the influence, while being interviewed by Michael Parkinson.

    Luckily, Meg Ryan would come along some years later and make Besty look like a dream.

You Think Lionel Messi's from Denmark

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    An interviewer asked ARGENTINA'S Lionel Messi about his thought's on the Danish coach and how Denmark will do.

    We have no idea why anyone would ask Messi about Denmark. And, judging by this video, Messi has no idea why anyone would ask him about Denmark.

    And it's not like the interviewer had a slip of a tongue and said "Denmark" but meant to say "Argentina". He said "Danish" like three times and even got the team's manager correct.

    The only sensible explanation is that the interviewer thought Messi was from Denmark.

You Are Told to "f*** Off" by a Knight of the Realm

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    Unfortunately, there's no video for this infamous interview between Sir Alex Ferguson of Manchester United and Geoff Shreeves of Sky.

    But there is a transcript.

    Get a friend round, you play Sir Alex (do a Scottish accent) and get your mate to play Shreeves.

    The exchange happened in 2007 after Shreeves questioned Cristiano Ronaldo on whether or not he had dived to get the penalty that won the game. We join the conversation as Sir Alex wants to know what has been said:

    Geoff Shreeves: I asked him...

    Sir Alex Ferguson : F*cking (inaudible) b*stard.

    GS: Don't talk to me like that.

    SAF: F*ck off to you.

    GS: Don't talk to me like that. Don't even think about it.

    SAF: Don't you think about it, you ****. F**k off. Right?

    GS: Listen, are you going to do the interview in a professional manner or not? Do you want to do it or not?

    SAF: You f*cking be professional. You be professional. You're the one.

    GS: I'm entitled to ask; Cristiano gave the right answer.

    SAF: F*cking hell with your answers.

    GS: Don't talk to me like that. Go away. If you want to behave civilly, fine. Don't talk to me like that.’

    SAF: F*ck off (door slams).

    At least Geoff Shreeves didn't ask Fergie which Barcelona player he would have in his side.