UFC on Fox 7: 5 Pointless Observations

UFC on Fox 7 is now in the books and there is no shortage of important storylines to follow in the aftermath of last night’s entertainment.

Will Daniel Cormier drop down to light heavyweight? Will T.J. Grant or Gray Maynard get the next shot at Benson Henderson? Is Frank Mir finished as a top-tier UFC heavyweight?

However, I’m going to leave it to my distinguished colleagues to do the heavy lifting and sift through the rubble of consequential carnage.

For a little change of pace, I am going to discuss some of the less consequential aspects of UFC on Fox 7. So don’t expect what follows to be a serious post-mortem of last night’s events.

Here are my five pointless observations from UFC on Fox 7.

Is Matt Brown literally immortal? Mike Goldberg thinks so.

The UFC is often guilty of using hyperbole to sell their product, but Mike Goldberg may have taken this practice to an entirely new, stratospheric level during last night’s Fox broadcast.

While discussing the upcoming Matt Brown vs. Jordan Mein bout, the long-time play-by-play man cued the video package by proclaiming, “Matt Brown truly IS The Immortal One.” (emphasis all Goldie's.)

Now, maybe Goldberg had just finished watching Highlander or perhaps he genuinely believes that Matt Brown is immune to the aging process, but it may have been his most spit-take-inducing statement since he referred to Travis Lutter as “The Michael Jordan of Brazilian jiu jitsu.”

Then again, Brown’s efforts inside the Octagon have been so epic recently that maybe Goldie’s statement is not without merit, if interpreted in a figurative sense.

Perhaps the TUF veteran’s spirit will live on eternally in the memories of mixed martial arts fans, long after his physical body has passed into the earth’s soil.

Did I take that too far?

On a semi-related note, Brown should really think about selling this gimmick by coming to the cage on horseback while wielding a broadsword.

Too far again?

Can MetroPCS get a refund from FOX?

As we waited to hear from Matt Brown after his butt-clenchingly compelling fight with Jordan Mein, Fox decided to forego the usual post-fight interview and plug one of their sponsors, MetroPCS.

They did this via an interview with Ronda Rousey, who has no competitive relevance until at least August. But that’s a minor quibble.

The video feed of the UFC women’s 135-pound champion was displayed on the screen of a mobile phone graphic while Mike Goldberg fired softballs at her courtesy of a barely-concealed script that made it look like he was auditioning for a role in a Fox pilot.

As sponsor-plugs go, it could have been worse. Until Ronda Rousey started speaking, that is.

Rather than simply displaying Rousey’s image on the aforementioned graphic, the folks at Fox must have decided to give us the full MetroPCS experience by making the audio so poor that it seemed as though Ronda was standing in the heart of the Scottish highlands.

The only thing viewers took from that ad is: Go with MetroPCS if you want your mobile phone reception to sound like you’re calling from the foot of Mount Everest.

Does Francis Carmont win decisions by simply looking physically imposing?

For someone who is 5-0 inside the Octagon, no one seems particularly interested in the future exploits of Francis Carmont.

And for good reason.

The Frenchman looks scary as hell, but it seems as though he can’t truly back it up inside the cage. Sure, he "wins" decisions, but he really flatters to deceive.

Once his opponents realise that he looks much scarier than he actually is, they invariably shut down his limited offence.

The consensus on Twitter seems to be that Carmont has stolen decisions in his last two fights purely because he looks like a bodybuilder and plods forward aimlessly, as though he is pressing the action.

If there is a bigger misnomer than Carmont’s “Limitless” nickname, I have yet to hear it.

Duane "Just Call Me 'Coach'" Ludwig

Has Duane “Bang” Ludwig achieved more success in a few months as coach than he did in 12 years as a mixed martial artist?

Since he took over as head coach at Team Alpha Male, the Sacramento-based fight camp seems incapable of losing.

My Twitter feed last night looked like a Duane Ludwig fan page. As a coach, Ludwig makes Greg Jackson look like “Rampage" Jackson and as a cornerman, he makes Firas Zahabi look like Joe Warren.

It’s clear the folks over at TAM look up to Duane, both literally and figuratively, but I haven’t seen a coach make this big of an impact since…

Finishing that joke would almost certainly displease the folks on the content moderation team. So, use the comment section to try and finish my incomplete thought.

Does Benson Henderson need a haircut?

It seems strange to criticise the UFC’s lightweight champion after he has just successfully defended his title for the third time, equaling B.J. Penn's record.

Still, maybe Henderson’s title defences would be less controversial if he didn’t spend half of every fight removing his own hair from his eyes.

When Gilbert Melendez wasn’t charitably allowing the champion to sweep the hair away from his face, Henderson reacted to every attack like a startled poodle.

As if taking on the world’s best 155-pounders isn’t sufficiently challenging, "Bendo" competes while impairing his own vision and chewing on a toothpick.

Maybe for his next fight, he'll tie one arm behind his back.

It’s both impressive and baffling in equal measures.