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Throwing Tomatoes: Frustrated at Sports? Launch the Lycopene!

Kevin Paul
Apr 22, 2009

A few readers have dropped an inquiry about a possible return of the tomatoes.ย ย 

You know, youโ€™re right.ย  The tomatoes need to come back.ย  After all, we all need our daily serving of fruit and vegetables, and what better than a tomato, that fruit that everyone thinks is a veggie.ย 

Moving on to a much deserved tomato tossingโ€ฆ here are this weekโ€™s victims:

Throwing Tomatoes: April 22, 2009

Percy Harvin and Brandon Tate

โ€ฆfor reportedly testing positive for pot.

Yes, kidsโ€ฆ South Park does teach life lessons.ย  Just ask Mr. Mackey, who was known to say that โ€œmarijuana is bad, mmmkayโ€.ย  Apparently, former Gator Percy Harvin and former Tar Heel Brandon Tate have never seen the show.ย  Now, each considered a potential first-round NFL draft pick, could see a major hitโ€ฆ an

d not that kind of hit, my friends.

John Calipari

โ€ฆfor losing prized recruit Xavier Henry to the Jaykawks.

Coach Cal, welcome to Kentucky, arguably the biggest job in college basketball.ย  Onlyโ€ฆ apparently Xavier Henry, a top recruit, didnโ€™t feel that was the case, and instead of following you from Memphis to Kentucky, heโ€™s decided to play for Coach Self at Kansas.ย  And by the way, not that you need another kick in the rear, his brother is headed to KU, too.

Chien-Ming Wang

โ€ฆfor delivering more meatballs than an Italian restaurant.

To say that Wangโ€™s start to the season has been ugly would be the understatement of the year.ย  Letโ€™s put it into numbers: three starts, six innings, 23 hits, 23 runs, two Kโ€™s, and a 34.50 ERA.ย  Wow, Bea Arthur could hold her own better in the Yankees rotation.

David Ortiz

โ€ฆfor losing his edge and being less feared.

Big Papi was the guyโ€ฆ for years.ย  Now, he isnโ€™t.ย  Yes, itโ€™s early, but heโ€™s below the mendoza line (.196).ย  Heโ€™s struckout 15 times already, one-fifth of his total from last year.ย  It hasnโ€™t been pretty and besides, if I add a Yankee on here, I have to counter with a Boston player.ย  Enough said.

Majestic Athletic

โ€ฆfor misspelling the team name on a few jerseys of Nationals players last week.

Yep, for one day, they were the โ€œNatinalsโ€.ย  No โ€œOโ€, oh the irony.ย  Seriously, maybe the Nats should just stick with the โ€œD.C.โ€ jerseys.ย  With two letters, the chances of an error are much less.

Orlando Magic

โ€ฆfor folding like cheap laundry in Game 1 of their series with Philly.

Orlando sported an 18-point lead at home late in the third, plus a 14-point lead entering the fourth quarter.ย  Plain and simple, you just have to get it done.ย  Props to the Sixers on a sweet comeback, but maybe Shaq was right, Coach Van Gundy does panic in the clutch.

Detroit Lions

โ€ฆfor introducing a โ€œmore fierceโ€ logo after a goose egg season.

Is it me, or is a weak logo the least of Detroitโ€™s problems?ย  Maybe Iโ€™m being hastyโ€ฆ the Lions will definitely scare off a few 300-pound beasts with that new logo.ย  Watch out above 1-15!

ย  This has been โ€œThrowing Tomatoesโ€โ€ฆ where everyone is seeing red again.