Breaking News: NFL Draft Postponed Indefinately [HUMOR]

Sources have confirmed, however, a press conference has been scheduled by Roger Goodell’s office for 7:27 a.m. EST. at the NFL home office in New York.

Those close to the situation say the 2009 NFL Draft has needed to be and will be postponed until, as one spokesperson stated “there is better first round talent available.”

Most draft experts and so called “gurus” have agreed that the best value in the draft this year won’t be found until around the 25th pick.  Roger Goodell has scrambled to find a solution to a watered down product before the whole nation tunes in on Saturday.

With no immediate incoming talent, Goodell’s only option was to postpone the draft.

“Thank God!” was the response of Jim Schwartz, newly appointed and first year head coach of the Detroit Lions. “I waited my whole life for an opportunity to be a head coach and have my say in the draft, and this was the crap I had to choose from?”

Mel Kiper has been quoted as saying in private “Jesus, there is only so many ways I can say that there is no clear cut No. 1 pick”.

NFL.com has reported 31 teams have attempted to trade down with the Pittsburgh Steelers sometimes asking for as little as a ham sandwich in return. But to date, Pittsburgh has not pulled the trigger on any deal, with head coach Mike Tomlin stating “if this is the best college players out there right now, we will stick with the team we have.”

Bill Parcells of the Miami Dolphins attempted to contact Roger Goodell about the possibility of trading his entire draft for a bass fishing boat, according to the Dolphins Director of Media Operations.  But so far no calls have been returned.

“Our office has been flooded with inquiries about teams wanting to return their picks “said an employee at the NFL home office.

“Postponing the draft was the last thing they wanted to do” said one of the anonymous sources speaking about the NFL decision makers. “At one point they thought about throwing all of the college players names in a hat and forcing each team to take draw seven times.”

When asked about whether he felt there was value in the draft Al Davis, president of the Oakland Raiders summed it up best by saying “are you talking back to me? “.

At the time of print, no calls to Roger Goodell have been returned.