Chris Carpenter Tears Labrum While Showering

After a brilliant pitching performance on Opening Day, 2010, the St. Louis Cardinals' ace, Chris Carpenter, was placed on the disabled list with a torn labrum in his shoulder.

Carpenter fooled with a no-no against the Houston Astros until the bottom of the eighth inning when Aaron Boone hit a bloop single to right field while pinch hitting for first baseman Lance Berkman.

"It was after the game," he stated, while showering in the locker room when he heard his muscle "pop." "I don't know what happened," said the 2005 Cy Young winner, "I was just washing my hair as usual and I suddenly lost strength in my right arm."

When asked about the incident, manager Tony La Russa voiced his frustration: "I'm not going to lie," stated La Russa, "I'm getting pretty tired of this. Chris was an integral part of our success in winning the pennant in '05 and the World Series in '06, but he's been finding new ways to hurt himself every season. I mean, he broke his index finger while signing an autograph last year!"

The team will have to survive another season without their ace and mood-setter, who's impressive spring training record (1.87 ERA in 24 1/3 IP) and first start (9.0 IP 0 ER 8 K 2 BB) brought hope to Cardinals fans everywhere.

"I thought this would be the season he pitched triple digit innings and take us the World Series again," said St. Louis bar-owner Joseph Nolfo, "but I forgot he's the same guy who twisted his wrist while picking up a resin bag."

Carpenter, who averaged 214 innings from 2004 to 2006, has not pitched more than 15 innings in a season since 2007 and will be the third pitcher to undergo multiple Tommy John surgeries (after Tampa Bay reliever Lance Davis and Los Angeles starter Darren Dreifort).

"I knew this was going to happen sooner or later," said the Cardinal's slugger, Albert Pujols. "I've argued with Chris on numerous occasions that there was no point in lathering, rinsing, and repeating. I guess he'll finally learn his lesson."