Masters Update: Tiger Woods Ties His Best Opening Round Ever at Augusta

Tiger Woods shot a respectable round of 70 that will maintain his position as the man to beat if you desire to wear a handsome green jacket on Sunday afternoon network television.

In fact, Eldrick has a history of spotting the field a few strokes on Thursday at the Masters. His last under par opening round at Augusta came way back in 2002. He has never had a Masters opening round in the 60s. Oddly enough, this is the formula that has won him four green jackets in his career.

I cannot verify that the chirping birds heard on television were native this year instead of television produced background ambiance, but the ideal spring weather in Augusta, Georgia today produced plenty of birdies from the players.

Thursday was in fact the easiest Augusta National ever, allowing 28 under par rounds. Great weather, soft greens and first round pressureless mentality combined give a few “has beens” their “once again.”

The lowest round of the day by someone from the Masters’ history book came from Larry Mize. Larry famously found a green jacket that had been abandoned by Greg Norman, who was then the best player in the world, on the second sudden death playoff hole of the 1987 Masters. Larry Mize, who has been preparing hard for the senior tour, is two off the lead at 5 under par.

The same Greg Norman, who actually qualified to play in this event through his British Open performance last year, is tied with Tiger Woods after round one.

Bernhard Langer also shot 68 to try and prolong his past champion invite a few more years.

Michigan State Junior and Public Links Champion, Jack Newman, leads the field of five invited amateur players with an even par score of 72. Jack Newman has a modern golf swing, a future on the PGA tour and a name from the senior tour.

When did parents stop making up names and return to the classics?

Last year’s Masters Champion Trevor Immelman chipped in for one of the aforementioned birdies on the 14th hole, which stopped his bleeding scorecard, if only for the day. Winning back to back green jackets is as uncommon as Jeev Milka Singh’s golf swing.

Speaking of professional golf’s slumdog millionaire, those crazy Augusta National members paired the world’s most over-analyzed and expensive golf swing which is built on the high performance chassis of Tiger Woods with the uncertain and awkward looking motions of a third world homemade swing supported by the accountant quality body of Jeev Milka Singh.

The contrast rivaled Zach Johnson’s red pants, white shoes and cap, and navy blue slacks. Is Jesper Parnevik teaching fashion classes in the locker room?

They also paired the boomin’ babies of professional golf: Ryo Ishikawa who is the 17-year-old two-time Japanese tour winner, Rory McIlroy is the 19 year-old Irishman who currently owns the most “next Tiger Woods” hype and a fantastic Caucasian afro, and 21 year-old Anthony Kim who was made famous by nearly surviving last year’s US Open Tiger attack by hiding behind an enormous belt buckle.

Now back to those players who might actually have a chance of winning.

Chad Campbell, who was probably happy just to be at Augusta in April, briefly matched the course record of nine under par before succumbing to the nerve induced defense of historical record. He hit two bunkers (the only bunkers he hit in an otherwise perfect round) in the final two holes of his round to finish bogey, bogey for a 65 and the first-round lead by one shot.

From the cliché column, Phil Mickelson and Sergio Garcia probably lost the tournament on Thursday.

Kenny Perry may get some Sunday airtime after...wait, don’t stop reading...OK, I promise, no more about the most boring player on tour...even if he shot 68.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot with all the Tiger talk, Padraig Harrington shot a 3-under 69 to continue his quest of winning three majors in a row.

The modus operandi of current major championships is that the first round has the easiest course set up of all four days. As the week progresses they will stop watering the greens and start hiding the pins in an effort to strain out the pretenders.

As always, Thursday at the Masters showed us a bit of history and a bit of the future, but the bulk of the leader board consists of the usual suspects of professional golf.