No Way Jose! Mr. Cantsayno Is At It Again.

Is there anyone even remotely related to baseball that people care about less than Jose Canseco? No seriously, throw me a name. I'd like to hear it.

However, unfortunately for the American pastime Major League Baseball, he seems to feel the need to make his voice heard no matter how much we all yell at him to shut up.

We have three dusty books sitting on the shelves authored by Mr. Cantsayno, Rampant Roids, Juiced: Wild Times, and also Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big.

It seems that after he not so gracefully fell out of the league he didn't have any skills to fall back on in order to satisfy his lifestyle, either that or his abnormally thick neck became too heavy to hold up naturally and he needed metal plates inserted to stabilize it. Whatever the reason, he felt the need to stab many of his former teammates, trainers, and friends in the backs for nothing more than another chance at fame.

Apparently Cantsayno was so good at doing steroids, he could spot other steroid users from miles away. It seems he has now become the go-to-guy when people run out of things to write about and want someone new to blame for steroids.

Cantsayno's most recent target, former Red Sox slugger, and now extremely overpaid Dodger, Manny Ramirez. Canseco says he is 90% certain that Manny's name is on the list of the 104 players that tested positive.

Oh really Jose, you don't say. Where do you get that number from if you don't mind me asking. Does that mean you're 10% sure that the rest of major league baseball is on the list? His reasoning, why else would there be no interest in giving him a long term deal.

Yeah, that is so odd, why would no one want to give a long term deal to a 37 old power hitter who is clearly on the downside of his career, has been known to cause clubhouse problems and basically tried to tear Boston to bits before they shipped him out. It must be the steroids, it couldn't possibly be that he runs hard down the line to beat out throws about as often as he cuts his hair.

Thank you Jose, we appreciate your input, but I think we'll take it from here. How much is that Botox running you by the way, it looks wonderful.