Rafael Nadal's Wardrobe Assistant Attempts Suicide (humor)

Mallorcan police were called to a condo parking lot yesterday where a 36-year old woman claiming to be Rafael Nadal's wardrobe assistant was preparing to jump from the roof.

Police negotiators tried to calm the lady down, even suggesting Nadal might switch back to his swaggering clothes for the clay season. 

"It's no use!  My life is over!" she cried in despair. "I invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in his pirate clothing and now he changes to look like a golfer with shorts! I payed premium prices to get his wardrobe from Johnny Depp off of Ebay! I even had an eye patch for him especially designed for the French Open. Now what am I going to do?"

"Have you tried any of the other Spanish players?" said the officer with the megaphone. 

"What?" She responded.  

He continued, "There are many other Spanish players on the tennis circuit. Verdasco, Gonzalez, Robredo—You even have South Americans like Del Potro and Nalbandian, although I don't think you have anything that fits Nalbandian. You can even give them to Djokovic, who is well-known for his Nadal impersonations!"

The lady seemed to have calmed down. A crowd started to form and chants of "Vamos Rafa!" grew louder and louder. The lady stood up to join in the passionate shouting.

Then she slipped and fell to her death, her last "Vamos, Rafa" turning to a brief shriek. 

Nadal, upon hearing the news, was in a state of shock.

"Dis was a trahedy, no? I weesh dat she spoke to me before because my Uncle Toni, he like to put dese clothes on before he sleep. He and he wife wake me up wid da scream, 'Vamos Toni!' Aright, no more quetion, tankyouverymuch!"

It remains to be seen whether this incident will affect Nadal's line of clothing for future upcoming tournaments.