Jay Cutler Has Retired To Fulfil His Dream

Jay Cutler sent a brutal text message via his GO phone this morning to Denver Broncos Head Coach Josh McDaniels explaining, "Please Josh, there is no use in trying to trade me...I have decided to fulfill my dream to become a ballerina and will have my own show in doing so.

"I no longer feel football is the right place for me as everyone is a liar and I just can't take it anymore!!!"

That's right, a triple exclamation point. McDaniels and Bowlen have not been able to be reached for comment.

This doesn't exactly come as a shock, as there have been rumblings that Cutler was on his way out, although his destination was all speculation until now.

"I just can't believe he wants to be...a uh...well, that's his deal isn't it? Jay has some things to work out and I'll be relieved all this drama has moved on elsewhere," A Broncos employee said.

The term "fruitcake" and "fairy" came up a few times inside the Bronco locker room, with some saying he can really reach his potential now and "fly."

Shooting is going to take place in Orange County, and the casting for judges is being done now. Word has it that Simon from American Idol thought the idea was "atrocious," and "very stupid."

The show is going to air on the Drama Queen Network where women go to cry about their hurt feelings that can be overcome rather easily, but instead choose to piss and moan about not getting what they want and how everyone is against them.

Jay Cutler will be a great addition to that network with his "different" new show, and is also expected to make an appearance or two on Ladies Digest: The Cycle Of Unfaithfulness coming this June.

Cutler's new show has not been named nor confirmed by his representatives just yet, but the Ladies of Drama Queen Network already say that Jay will be "very gay" from now on.

Take that however as you see it, from the Drama Queens themselves.

Happy April Fools