In the News

Today’s Game

- Whatever, I’m ready for spring training to be done…

Brewers News

- The Brewers made some roster moves today. First of all, the Brewers signed old ass Pedro Martinez. Doug Melvin cites the argument from Pete Barth at the Sheboygan Press as the reason he felt able to pull the trigger.

In related news, the Brewers also signed Frank Thomas, BJ Surhoff, and El Duque. They also signed Curtis Leskanic to a minor league contract.

- Seth McClung decides to pull a Joaquin Phoenix and decided to become M.C. Clung.

- Prince Fielder was caught on camera eating a Chili’s big mouth burger

- Someone, somewhere wrote on a blog that the Brewers aren’t going to catch the Cubs this year

Minor Leagues

- Zealous Wheeler has been confirmed to be the Highlander

NL Central

- Cub-tastrophe! Carlos Zambrano’s head finally exploded after watching Ryan Theriot start a riotous confrontation with teammate and statistical doppleganger Mike Fontenot about who is Chicago’s favorite infielder, who then stuck a bat right up Kosuke Fukudome’s ass just because Reed Johnson called Fontenot a “little bitch”

Other News

- I can’t believe I spent 10 whole minutes on M.C. Clung…