The Tool Shed: Pitying The Fool

As we begin the countdown to WrestleMania XXV, let’s take a moment to reflect on one wrestling great who won’t join the 2009 Hall of Fame class: Mr. T.

It’s not that he didn’t have the opportunity. He just couldn’t take the WWE’s cheek. So sayeth the T:

"WWE asked me to be in the Hall of Fame, and I turned it down. You know why?They put Pete Rose in the wrestling Hall of Fame. This guy can’t even get into his own Hall of Fame. After they put Rose in, they came and asked me, and I said:  ‘You don’t insult me! You don’t put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame before me!’ I ain’t going to be a part of that. They put him in, and he only did one WrestleMania, and he didn’t even wrestle."

And so sayeth me:

Shut yo’ mouth, fool.  Let’s cut the jibba jabba and do a little fact-checking, shall we?

First, despite a remarkable baseball career, Rose has been neglected from Cooperstown because of his unscrupulous behavior, though it's a decision that is hotly contested.

Now, I love wrasslin’ as much as the next girl, but let’s be honest here: The WWE loves it some unscrupulous behavior (Montreal Screwjob, anyone?).

If anything, Rose’s dicey ethics improve his chances of wrestling immortality. So, cute argument, but no.

Second, one WrestleMania? Uh, I don’t think so, sucka.

According to the WWE’s meticulously kept records, Rose appeared at no fewer than three WrestleManias (or is that WrestlesMania? English is stupid).

And third, although it’s true that Rose didn’t fight at these events, he is a two-time survivor of Kane’s tombstone piledriver, a one-time survivor of Kane’s choke slam, and the victim of an unfortunate encounter with Rikishi’s nearly bare ass. After all that, seems like maybe you should cut the man some slack.

I’m also confused about where you draw the line here, T. You find a post-Rose invite to the WWE Hall of Fame degrading, but not this? Or this? Or, God love you, this?

This is a bunch of nonsense. If you’re not above wrestling (you do know it’s fake, right?), then you’re not above the wrestling Hall of Fame.

For your misinformed outburst, you earn a different honor, one you can't refuse:

Welcome to the JSF Tool Shed, fool.