Bills Skip Toronto, Move to Ottawa

TBS affiliates are reporting that the Bills—formerly of Buffalo, NY—have moved to Canada to expand their market.

Even more surprising? They’ve skipped Toronto and will move instead to Ottawa.

Asked about the move as he left his Orchard Park office, team owner Ralph Wilson responded:

“Look, the farther we get from Buffalo, the bigger our market becomes. Bills fans are still going to come to the games...I mean, what else is there to do on Sunday afternoons around here?”

When asked why Ottawa, Mr. Wilson seemed to get annoyed.

“We’re regionalizing...if we take Ottawa, we get Toronto, too. You can’t drive to Ottawa from Buffalo without going through Toronto.”

When asked why he didn’t just keep going and move the team to Montreal, Wilson paused, then said, “Montreal? That’s just stupid.”

Grilled on the sudden move, Head of Football Operations Russ Brandon later admitted, “Yeah, we thought Toronto was the capital of Canada. Turns out it’s Ottawa. Yeah, didn’t know that. Did you?”

The Bills do not have a stadium in Ottawa as of yet, so until one is built, they will keep playing home games in Buffalo and Toronto.

“Well, we’re hoping the people of Orchard Park and Buffalo proper won’t mind us coming over from time to time to pick up some clothes. Figuratively speaking, of course,” said Brandon with a wink.