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A-Rod Cheated Too (Casey at the Bat, Modernized)

Chuck Rose
Mar 19, 2009

The outlook was rather murky for MLB that year,
With a player strike came low attendance, perhaps the end was near.
Then something happened, Big Mac and Slamminโ€™ Sammy, they went on a tear.
They both blew by Maris as if his record wasnโ€™t even there.


It was kind of odd though, Sosa had never hit like that?
Big Mac? Maybe, but injury had plagued him, and for years on the bench heโ€™s sat.
But hey record attendance, and the T.V. ratings soared,
Chicks dig the long ball and that cannot be ignored...


So Selig turned his head to the fact they may be on juice.
Anyway the home run race was the only thing that kept his job from the noose.

But then an unlikely crusader came forth that use to be an A.
That unexpected crusader? He went by the name of Jose.
He wrote a book called โ€œJuicedโ€ that exposed everyone who used.
He wasnโ€™t holding nothing back, everyone abused.


From Mac, Bonds, and Giambi to Sosa and Palmeiro too.
Apparently everyone in the game was using since about 1992.
โ€œNo, not Mac!โ€ย  the fans shouted, and โ€œSosaโ€™s got to be clean as well,โ€
And anyway Canseco is just looking for attention as any fool can tell.


But then Balco got raided and things began to fall apart.
Perhaps Canseco had it right from the very start.

Congressional hearings, our leaders will sort this out,
This will bring an end to it without a doubt.
โ€œIโ€™m not here to talk about the pastโ€ Big Mac was heard to say.
Now does that honestly help the proceedings in any sort of way?


โ€œI donโ€™t understand what youโ€™re saying,โ€ came out of Sammyโ€™s mouth.
โ€œIโ€™ve never used steroids from Rafy," and we all know how that went south.
So Selig called on George Mitchell to get to the bottom of it all,
He didnโ€™t hold anything back, and lots of players names were about to fall.

What has happened to the grand old game?
All the modern sluggers tarnished, all with tainted names.
Steroids and amphetamines, HGH as well,
Who enhanced their performance was getting hard to tell.


But then one man was closing in on โ€œThe Recordโ€ and everyone began to fear,
That record was held by Aaron, second was the legend who did it on hot dogs and beer.
As Bonds got closer and closer, people were worried more,
Everyone hoping he got hurt, and others hoping for more.


Eventually he got to 756, as we all knew he would.
But there remained one man who could pass him; everyone says he could.

โ€œYeah thereโ€™s A-Rod. Heโ€™ll pass Bonds one day!โ€
โ€œAnd Heโ€™s clean as a whistle; a hero in every way!โ€
โ€œYes, Heโ€™ll break the record, and baseball will be saved!โ€
โ€œThereโ€™s our Savior,โ€ย  everyone in baseball raved.


Then a reporter for S.I., oh, she had a story to tell,
Said that while in Texas, a drug test he did fail.
A-Rod came clean. He admitted what heโ€™d done,
But sadly now he canโ€™t be the one.


Everyone in despair, โ€œNow, what do we do?โ€
There is no joy in baseball, for A-Rod cheated, too.